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FINALLY: Slate names the winners of the Merrick Garland ice cream flavor contest no one knew about

We really fell down on the job by not alerting our readers to Slate’s Merrick Garland ice cream flavor contest; it slipped right past us — no clue when — and we’re sorry if we cost anyone social media fame and fortune by not alerting them to the opportunity.

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On the plus side, the winner, or make that winners, have been announced, and big laughs are in store for everyone.

 

#NoJusticeNoPeach isn’t trending yet, but the announcement was just made a few hours ago.

It’s hard to believe Merrick Garland has been waiting 169 days for a hearing and a vote — we’d have thought it was a lot longer than that. We’re pretty sure even President Obama has forgotten about it, along with the two free years of community college, those 13 high-speed rail line corridors, the five-day review and comment period for new legislation …

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In comparison, reporters waiting for Hillary Clinton to hold a press conference have Garland’s comparatively minor ordeal beat by more than 100 days, and it’s been 2,780 days since President Obama signed the executive order requiring the closure of the Guantanamo Bay detention facility.

Click on over to Slate for the complete list of winners as selected by celebrity judge Ben Cohen. Or, just read it here — there are only four: Cluster Fudge Judge; No Justice, No Peach; A Merrick Can Dream; and Fuzzy Gavel.

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