We don’t mean to harp on Guantanamo Bay (so much), but there are certain promises you just don’t make. You don’t pledge to maintain the temperature of the globe like it entails turning the thermostat up or down a notch, and you don’t promise to cure cancer. Nevertheless, in Tuesday’s State of the Union address, President Obama likened curing cancer to landing a man on the moon.
Better yet, he put Vice President Joe Biden in charge of the effort.
Last year, Vice President Biden said that with a new moonshot, America can cure cancer. Last month, he worked with this Congress to give scientists at the National Institutes of Health the strongest resources they’ve had in over a decade. Tonight, I’m announcing a new national effort to get it done. And because he’s gone to the mat for all of us, on so many issues over the past forty years, I’m putting Joe in charge of Mission Control. For the loved ones we’ve all lost, for the family we can still save, let’s make America the country that cures cancer once and for all.
Joe Biden to cure cancer. Oy.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) January 13, 2016
Did Obama put Biden in charge of curing cancer 10 minutes ago or did I dream that?
— Delbaum (@Delbaum) January 13, 2016
Wow, Obama doesn't like cancer. He's so dreamy!
— John Hayward (@Doc_0) January 13, 2016
I'm told top cancer experts & Biden himself pushed to get the mention of a "moonshot" #cancer cure included in the #SOTU address.
— Geoff Bennett (@GeoffRBennett) January 13, 2016
Wait, Biden is going to cure cancer ON THE MOON? #sotu
— Emily Finke (@seelix) January 13, 2016
It appears Joe Biden has 12 months to cure cancer.
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 13, 2016
It appears Joe Biden was not given a heads up that he’s now in charge of curing cancer.
— Brendan Buck (@BrendanBuck) January 13, 2016
Biden: "Okay don't panic. When you get home just google 'cancer' and go from there. You can do this. YOU CAN CURE CANCER."
— Eric Ledgin (@iamledgin) January 13, 2016
State of the Union. @BarackObama appoints @JoeBiden to rid the world of cancer. The entire world. No more cancer. JOE BIDEN! #ComedyCentral
— Kim Dotcom (@KimDotcom) January 13, 2016
Biden's tie is crooked… Now that I've seen it, I can't unsee it. But it's okay, he's mission control for the fight against cancer #SOTU
— Ashlyn M. Smith (@AshMSmitty) January 13, 2016
Biden might need to cure cancer given how many cancer patients have lost their doctors and can't afford their insurance under Obamacare.
— AG (@AG_Conservative) January 13, 2016
Wouldn't it have been wonderful if the Obama presidency had been about curing diseases instead of building a monster Obamacare bureaucracy?
— Phil Kerpen (@kerpen) January 13, 2016
@MehrsaBaradaran @KatrinaNation Joe Biden? In twelve months? Did cancer just appear on BHO'S radar? Asleep for seven years? Unserious.
— Bryan Coughlin (@BPCoughlin) January 13, 2016
Things I've learned so far:
College ain't cheap, y'all
Biden's going to the moon to cure cancer
Bin Laden still dead as hell
— SmugDingus (@SmugDingus) January 13, 2016
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