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Trump Is Naming Names

The coronavirus hysteria has reached a new level -- Tito's Vodka is reduced to public service health announcements

With the rampant fears of the coronavirus leading to more media coverage, the level of dumb in this nation is steadily rising. (Or is ”dropping” more appropriate for dumbness? I can’t tell, I’m too panicked to rationalize this!)

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One of the other offshoots of the panic we have had to endure is the reports and memes that involve Corona beer, because apparently, the laziest of jokes are the most popular. But now something else has transpired on the cocktails front.

Possibly it stems from this pre-contagion-hysteria article from Good Housekeeping that gave tips on creating your own hand sanitizer.

The past few days have seen this life-hack of a suggestion being passed around freely. One might say it has gone vi– (Ed. – Writer was tackled and prevented from finishing this thought.)

There was a preponderance of people making posts about this supposed cure-all involving the use of Tito’s Vodka, the popular spirit out of Texas. The distillery has been forced into the role of making corrective public announcements to correct the record.

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At the risk of sounding like a professional dipsologist, what on earth would possess you people?!?!

Why would you waste a functional potable in this fashion? Supposing for a moment that you are in a position where you cannot purchase sanitizer, but you can still glom some aloe vera. Then take 12 extra steps and nab the rubbing alcohol, you wasteful dolts!

Save the Tito’s for proper internal sanitizing techniques.

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Well, as long as this was something you had been previously doing, then by all means…carry on.

Let us know if it also wipes out the level of stupid we get subjected to. Wait — nevermind, we’ll find out for ourselves. (swipes the bottle…)

That this even needs to be said is a sign of how bad things have become. We need a see-through, up, with a lime – STAT.

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