Stuck in a dead-end position? Looking for a career change? Always wanted to serve your country but didn’t know how?
Well, you’re in luck, because the perfect job does, in fact, exist. And it’s brought to you by three letters: F, B, and I.
That’s right, folks! The FBI is looking for a few good men (and women, and probably nonbinary folks, too):
In 2022, add "protecting the nation" to your resume. See what exciting careers the #FBI has to offer and apply today at https://t.co/PQMdKx4VWo. pic.twitter.com/wxY7i2KCZ6
— FBI Washington Field (@FBIWFO) January 1, 2022
As of this post’s publication, the tweet’s still up almost two days after it was originally sent out. But we went ahead and grabbed a screenshot just in case:
The FBI’s tweet was accompanied by another one of Twitter’s increasingly prevalent warnings:
Yes, we definitely shouldn’t forget that there’s a human behind the FBI’s tweet. Because we need to have someone to whom we can direct our mockery and derision.
Seriously, we’re not sure what the FBI expected when they tweeted that. It couldn’t possibly have been a flood of applications, because who’s going to be inspired by that tweet? Maybe a flood of offers from graphic artists or recruitment specialists or really anyone who could’ve told them to not send that tweet in the first place.
But it’s too late now. The tweet’s out there, for all the world to see, and we have no choice but to treat it the way it deserves to be treated.
Oh we gon' meme this photo.
— 𝘿𝙀𝙀𝙋𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙀𝘿 (@LemonDeepfried) January 1, 2022
You’re damn right. And so, without further ado … please to enjoy.
Recommended
Anyone else get this vibe? https://t.co/ILxidXOpiT pic.twitter.com/wCzeTEO0vk
— Digital Emu (@EmusementPark) January 2, 2022
A lot of people do, for what it’s worth.
https://twitter.com/WADE1138/status/1477542318630703106
Most @FBI agents. pic.twitter.com/O5eF5Bi5XT
— Skip (@On_Blocks) January 2, 2022
“Not only do all of these people exist, they have been asking for their mail on a daily basis.” pic.twitter.com/oSN4yHnI1t
— Devlin Barrett (@DevlinBarrett) January 1, 2022
Red lines connecting documents… that's so cliché. Either she's paranoid; or, she's on the verge of finding Pepe Silvia pic.twitter.com/Q3TkvFMGvu
— Craig S. Bell (@craig_s_bell) January 2, 2022
Comparisons to the “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” meme were inevitable. Even necessary, one could argue. Who among us would not have been disappointed had someone not used it?
lmao wtf…are they recruiting conspiracy theorists? https://t.co/5PbdnmMVYJ
— Stranger Loop (@Recursion_droid) January 2, 2022
Finally, a chance to wear your tinfoil hat to work!
Of course there’s still plenty more ammunition out there:
— Prison Mitch (@MidnightMitch) January 1, 2022
— Prison Mitch (@MidnightMitch) January 2, 2022
Heya, Gretch! Long time, no see!
No thanks. If I'm going to join the circus, it's going to be a proper one. With clowns and stuff. https://t.co/DpUP3PP0dz
— Bohemio of the Reeeeing Twenties (@El__Bohemio) January 2, 2022
Same energy https://t.co/8mndEUnTNO pic.twitter.com/Hyp6pry2Zt
— Eeyore News Network (@someguymusing) January 2, 2022
Yes! Maybe they’ve got the same marketing team.
https://twitter.com/taitt_m/status/1477530462079827971
https://twitter.com/Mthe3rdOne/status/1477461382194876417
Eh, it’s probably still worth it. If you can’t make fun of the FBI, what’s the point, really?
— Rob from Long Island (@FlyingDutch0116) January 2, 2022
https://twitter.com/CrippleNip69/status/1477690590544510984
FBI jobs program: when the Mafia is just too honest and upstanding a career. https://t.co/Pxlupps70n
— Daddy Warpig (@DaddyWarpig) January 2, 2022
Brutal. Just absolutely brutal.
Nobody is buying it anymore.
— KnoxvegasMike (@mlittle101) January 1, 2022
But bless the FBI’s heart for trying. Just bless it.
I've reviewed the comments here. It appears you have a bit of an image problem.
— Andy Krantz (@Krantzology) January 2, 2022
Just a bit.
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