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Our Gift to You This Holiday Season

UPenn prof points out in the NY Daily News that there's probably a little Jeffrey Toobin in all of us, so get over your 'unease' already

We’re not sure where we got the idea that one shouldn’t yank your own chain while you’re on a professional Zoom call, but clearly we were misinformed.

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Thank you to the New York Daily News for being the latest media outlet to show us the light:

Jonathan Zimmerman — who’s a professor at UPenn — concludes:

So we joke about it, instead, which relieves our anxieties but reinforces the taboo. Witness the outpouring of juvenile humor over the past two days about “Toobin his own horn,” his “sticky situation,” and so on.

Remember, nobody — literally, nobody — has suggested that Toobin willfully exposed himself to others. You might say that he shouldn’t have been pleasuring himself during a work call, but that’s his business rather than yours. Inadvertently, he let the rest of us know about it. And now we can’t forgive him for it.

News flash: Toobin masturbates. But I’m guessing that you do the same, dear reader. Maybe you should stop feeling weird and guilty about that. Then we can all stop making fun of Jeffrey Toobin.

Why shouldn’t we make fun of Jeffrey Toobin? He’s a garbage person who couldn’t wait until his Zoom call was over to rub one out. Suggesting that criticism of Toobin’s actions is rooted in our collective “unease with masturbation” is decidedly intellectually dishonest.

And it also makes us really wonder what Zimmerman is doing on his Zoom calls.

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We’re not sure we want to know.

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