Oh, this is just too perfect.
After getting royally walloped yesterday over his ridiculous playground tantrum, “execrable” concern troll Matt Lewis didn’t exactly up his popularity points. But if he’s still in high demand — and why wouldn’t he be? — he’s just got to be much more discerning about who he deals with from now on. Thankfully, parody account Matts Rider has come along to tell potential talk show hosts, convention organizers, and the like how it’s gonna be:
He’s not messing around:
Mr. Matt K. Lewis doesn't have a "no looking him in the eyes" rule like JLo but if you people don't behave yourself at CPAC, he might add it
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
(Just bear in mind that he probably won’t meet with you at CPAC.)
During speeches, 2012 BLOGGER OF THE YEAR MR. MATT K. LEWIS insists that the audience remain completely quiet.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
2012 BLOGGER OF THE YEAR MATT LEWIS does not work with editors because his work does not need editing. Ever.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
Upon arrival MATT LEWIS shall be provided Oakley sunglasses and told he's pretty.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
MATT LEWIS requests a horse blanket shall be made available to him at a moment's notice.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
MATT LEWIS demands that all televisions within his view be tuned to the Animal Planet.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
MATT LEWIS requires an assistant to walk before him and spray mists of Beyonce's Pulse
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
When MATT LEWIS is introduced, the crowd shall not applaud, but rather gasp in awe at being in the presence of his unique brilliance.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
If MATT LEWIS at any point throws a foot-stomping tantrum, it shall officially be referred to as being "unfazed."
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
No one named "Ben Howe" (or anyone whose first name is "Ben" or "Benjamen" shall be granted access to an event Mr. @MattKLewis is attending
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
If you are granted an audience with Mr. Matt K. Lewis, you must provide the names and numbers of all your current employers. Don't ask why.
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
@bankofkev Mr. Matt K. Lewis does not eat such low class food. He's the CPAC Blogger of the Year for God's sake. #LindtOrBetter
— Zombie Frank Church (@GhostOfArlen) January 10, 2013
Brilliant.
This is awesome: @MKLewisRider
— Area Man (@lheal) January 10, 2013
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL -> @MKLewisRider
— RBe (@RBPundit) January 10, 2013
This—-> @MKLewisRider
— Matt Dawson (@SaintRPh) January 10, 2013
Yes. That.
Join the Conversation
VIP members get the ability to comment on articles.