Ladies and gentlemen, meet Rich Campbell. According to his Twitter bio, he’s a “Writer, Lover of Mountains, Green Bay Packers fan, Cal Bear, ex-Republican.”

It’s OK if you’ve never heard of him. We’re pretty sure we’ve never heard of him, either. But he’s got a blue checkmark, so he must be relatively important.

He certainly is passionate! We’ll give him that much. Like all of us, he’s sickened by school shootings. And like all gun control proponents, he thinks the solution is as simple as can be:

That tweet’s got everything: smug self-satisfaction, childlike naïveté, a fundamental misunderstanding of the Second Amendment … it’s perfect.

Rich wants to take your guns away.

We say let him try. He just might want to bring a friend. And a really, really big box.

No time like the present!

We sincerely hope so.

Sure, Rich. You wait right there and we’ll go back inside and check.

Shhh! No spoilers, please. Let Rich be surprised. It’s more fun that way.

We’ll even make some lemonade. Just give us some time to tidy up around here first.

You’re not a morning person, Rich is not a smart person … s’all good, man.