Well, knock us over with a feather:

More from the AP:

Medicare’s financial problems have gotten worse, and Social Security’s can’t be ignored forever, the government said Tuesday in an annual assessment that amounts to a sobering checkup on programs vital to the middle class.

The report from program trustees says Medicare will become insolvent in 2026 — three years earlier than previously forecast. Its giant trust fund for inpatient care won’t be able to cover projected medical bills starting at that point.

The report says Social Security will become insolvent in 2034 — no change from the projection last year.

Who could’ve seen this coming?

It’s OK. No one ever really wants to retire anyway.

The wait is over.

Here you go:

Oh, shut up.