Dearest, sweetest, kindest, most awesome VIP Twitchy members, you are MY PEOPLE. God love you for having a sense of humor with all of the insanity and horrible going on in this country right now. Overwhelmingly, you all said you enjoyed our ‘Top 10 Douchebags of the Week’ list last week when I put together the first one, and so here I am once again. I’ve gotta tell ya though, it is a teensy bit challenging to change up the douchebag list because so many of these people are perpetual douchebags and none of them really seem to change up who they are. Like EVER.
Heck, some have been douchebags for DECADES.
A few of them have been douchebags since even before this editor was born and considering this editor is certainly no spring chicken, that’s a LOOONG time spent being a total douchebag.
Here are this week’s ‘winners’, if you can call them that:
10. Jennifer Lawrence
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Jennifer Lawrence felt the need to apologize for her family being more conservative. She also has said she has nightmares about Tucker Carlson. No, seriously. Dude, she’s paid to read the words someone ELSE writes for a reason. #NotTheBrightestCrayonInTheBox
This is hilarious and sad at the same time. Jennifer Lawrence admits that she has NIGHTMARES about Tucker Carlson. These people are absolute lunatics. pic.twitter.com/qRpdZB0W9L
— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) September 6, 2022
9. Joy Reid
Joy is the worst sort of douchebag, she’s a CRAY-CRAY douchebag. Or at least she plays CRAY-CRAY on TV because WOOF, this is some nutty stuff. Joy really really really wants to link Trump to CIA agents killed in 2021 because she thinks he was selling our secrets to Russia … something.
Totally BONKERS.
Joy Reid is nuts pic.twitter.com/HtopTQzVIr
— Sebastian Gorka DrG (@SebGorka) September 6, 2022
8. Never Trump Losers
Ugh, these people. David French, Steve Schmidt, Rick Wilson, and the other gaggle of greaseballs selling the Right out to the Left in the name of ‘country over party’ or some other happy horse crap. The Left, of course, eats this up because A) they’re not bright or they wouldn’t be Lefties and B) they think these choads somehow prove the Right is LOSING. And Biden calling 75 million of us a threat to ‘democracy’ and semi-fascists has given these grifters a whole new talking point to push to their slobbering, mouth-breathing fans.
There was a lot I didn’t like about Biden’s speech, but when the “OK groomer” crowd gets mad about his tone, or the folks who are constantly calling Democrats “communists” and even “demonic” get upset about words like “semi-fascist,” I’m sensing a certain kind of energy: pic.twitter.com/3iLn5yz0Tf
— David French (@DavidAFrench) September 3, 2022
7. Rob Reiner
Archie Bunker was onto something when he called Rob Reiner, ‘Meathead.’ Talk about a character matching the actor portraying him! Reiner is so absolutely infected with TDS that he can’t seem to tweet about anything that doesn’t involve Trump. This guy can find a way to blame the bad orange man for ANYTHING, which makes him accidentally hilarious.
Donald Trump stole Top Secret Highly Classified Nuclear Documents. He has put our Nation in danger. No more deference. No more political considerations. No man is above the law. Time to make an arrest.
— Rob Reiner (@robreiner) September 7, 2022
Seriously, that’s his entire timeline.
6. Eric Swalwell
Don’t even get me STARTED on Swalwell. If this was just MY list and not Twitchy’s list, this Communist spy-banging doorknob would be at the top every week. If he’s not tweeting something stupid about Trump or Republicans, he’s rallying Californians to turn off their AC and suffer in the heat because of CLIMATE CHANGE.
It’s time to rally, California!
We all need to do our part to help avoid power outages this week.
Before 4pm, pre-cool your home. After 4pm, avoid use of major appliances and turn your thermostat to 78 or higher.
Let’s keep the lights on, California.
— Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) September 6, 2022
5. Kathy Griffin
Kathy Griffin hasn’t been relevant since she held up the severed head of the sitting president to make some ridiculous statement and then wept like a whiny cow when she was called out for being disgusting. Welp, Kathy seems to think if you don’t vote for Democrats, you want Civil War. Is she basically admitting her side is violent and unhinged, and if we don’t do as we’re told they’ll declare war on us? And you know what? She thinks SHE’S the good guy.
If you don’t want a Civil War, vote for Democrats in November. If you do want Civil War, vote Republican.
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) September 6, 2022
4. Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton started babbling about her emails on Twitter because she said she HAD TO. Apparently, people comparing her stealing classified materials to Trump’s case involving alleged classified materials made her feel like she needed to tweet about it. Someone close to her should tell her that nobody cares what she thinks and she is better off wandering about in the woods like some Big Foot creature in a bad pantsuit.
I can’t believe we’re still talking about this, but my emails…
As Trump’s problems continue to mount, the right is trying to make this about me again. There’s even a “Clinton Standard."
The fact is that I had zero emails that were classified.
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) September 6, 2022
I won’t torture you guys with the whole thread.
3. Taylor Lorenz
You had to know Taylor Lorenz would show up on this list eventually right? And it only took two weeks for her to debut in the top three! Now, that’s an accomplishment. Taylor has claimed that Libs of TikTok covering gender procedures being performed on minors at a children’s hospital has led to threats, specifically a bomb threat being called in. Seth Dillon has offered tens of thousands of dollars for information on this mystery phone call (Lorenz left this tidbit out of her coverage). Almost as if she doesn’t want us to know who called it in.
Hrm.
.@TaylorLorenz also managed to write an entire article about threats against children's hospitals without mentioning that I'd put up a $20k cash reward for information leading to the arrest of whoever allegedly called in a bomb threat at Boston Children's.
Disgraceful. https://t.co/ZKnE5rVP0D
— Seth Dillon (@SethDillon) September 5, 2022
2. Karine Jean-Pierre
This. Woman. Guys, I never thought anyone would make me ALMOST miss Little Red Lying Hood but WOW, Karine Jean-Pierre is so bad at her job. SO BAD. Now, she could probably make this list for simply being who she is in general, but this week she’s in the top two for refusing to answer Peter Doocy’s questions about how she absolutely accused Trump of stealing the election in 2016. She also voiced questions around Stacey Abrams losing … and here we thought that was a threat to our democracy or something. KJP deflected, got fussy, and refused to answer his question because she KNEW she was caught.
Doocy: If we all agree that the 2020 election wasn't stolen. What about 2016? @PressSec: "I'm not going to go back to where we were. I'm focused on the here and now. We're going to focus on what's happening today."
— Philip Melanchthon Wegmann (@PhilipWegmann) September 6, 2022
1. Joe Biden
Saved the worst for last. You guys, you knew he’d be number 1. There is no bigger douchebag in the country, or even in the WORLD than Joe Biden. His Hitler-esque speech smearing, threatening, and vilifying 75 million Americans in front of a dark red background will go down in history as one of the nastiest, most divisive, hateful speeches given by an American president. Can you IMAGINE if Trump had appeared this way? In front of marines? Calling Biden Democrats a threat to our republic? Except, of course, THEY would prove him right, they’d take to the streets, riot, burn shiznit down, and then pretend they were doing it for the country or something. And our dipstick media would carry that narrative for them.
'BLOOD RED' BACKDROP: The Barstool Sports founder wasn't the only one that commented on Biden's 'demagogic' speech.https://t.co/K8El5AhIRB pic.twitter.com/Ein7tSyedR
— Fox News (@FoxNews) September 2, 2022
I really don’t have adequate words to describe how horrific this speech really was.
Shew! There it is! So many douchebags, so little time. I hope you all enjoyed this week’s ‘Top 10 Douchebags,’ see you next week!
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