When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tweets, people LISTEN.
And then they laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
This poor woman, yikes.
If this editor needs something to write about, nine times out of 10 she can peruse Alexandria’s timeline and find some nugget to write an entire article on because ‘Jenny From the Socialist Block’ is a treasure trove of twittery. Others have noticed a pattern or theme in Alexandria’s tweets as well:
Ocasio's tweets read like a kid who just arrived at summer camp and is writing letters to her parents about the squalid conditions.
?Hello Muddah. Hello Faddah. Here I am at Camp Grenada. ?
— Morry Christ-Mos ☃️ (@molratty) December 3, 2018
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
It’s true.
If only other people could tweet like Alexandria.
This pretty much sums it up. https://t.co/74E2YgnsBD
— Ken Gardner (@KenGardner11) December 3, 2018
Wait, WHAT?! Is this TRUE?! Is this REAL?!
It is!
This thread is, well, everything. You’re welcome.
How to tweet like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a tutorial.
Step 1: Always include a picture of yourself wearing nerd glasses. pic.twitter.com/k4R5FURQuY
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
Ooh, good tip.
Step 2: Remind people of your illustrious minor in economics. pic.twitter.com/TuX98jyrmK
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
MUH DEGREE.
Step 3: Compose an easily understandable but false comparison, for maximum outrage. "If GM can build a car, why doesn't the flu vaccine cure the common cold???" pic.twitter.com/Qd3SydxA3W
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
If scrambled eggs are made from eggs why aren’t pancakes made from pans? WHOA, that works!
Step 4: Be sure to include a comprehensive study from a noted publication, like Mother Jones, the Working Families Party Monthly, or the Weekly World News.
Note: Ensure the study includes the word, "TRILLIONS" a bunch of times. pic.twitter.com/wq9ZxRGfBV
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
Heh.
Note: At this point, right-wing, reactionary nazis who hate puppies will start to attack you with silly things like "facts", and "math." Be not afraid, move on to step 5. pic.twitter.com/Smt7rPOZQN
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
We’ll have you know we NEVER kick puppies, just orphans and the elderly. Sheesh, we’re not total monsters you know.
Step 5: Feel free to crib this quote,
"Oh, I see the fascist, Republican racists are terrified of a totally gorgeous woman like me who knows everything and is always right and is like totally in charge of all three chambers of government now!" pic.twitter.com/AVVgLww7Tm
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
Word.
That's it. Go ye forth and change the world. I can't believe I do this shit for free.
— Merry Smattsmas (@mdrache) December 3, 2018
But just think, instead of cash this person gets to do this sh*t for the laughs … and a Twitchy or two.
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