A lot of people have at least one awful date story. But this might be the awful date story to end all awful date stories:
I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. *Thread*
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
Popcorn … and maybe a bottle or three of hard liquor:
So a few weeks ago I was on the Tinder machine shopping my soul around and I match with a very attractive young lady. No bio. Fairly innocuous.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
I text her n we make small talk abt work for a bit then she goes, "actually, I have this huge presentation Im workin on for my job, would you be offended if I got back to you in like a week or two when Ive got more free time? Youre cute and I want to meet you Im just too busy rn"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
I thought well that's an overly elaborate way to ghost someone. I say "lol I wouldn't be offended, I totally get it. Hit me up when you're free"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
She says "thank you, I was worried you would think I was trying to blow you off haha but for sure I'll text you in like a week, I'm excited" in my head I'm like sssssssuuuuurrrreeee I respond "?"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
Two weeks pass I completely forget about her then I remember and go back to tinder and I can't find the conversation. ? I think well that's weird she deleted her tinder but I take it as… overly elaborate ghosting methods
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
Then yesterday I get a text "HEY IM FINALLY FREE LMAO… my friend is DJing near Union square around 6 tomorrow I was wondering if you wanted to go for a bit then we could go get drinks after and see what happens"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
I'm like well I'll be damned. Genuinely didn't think she would message me. I reply "yeah I should be free, I'd be down" she says "amazing I'm gonna be running around today and tomorrow but just come around 6 and I'll meet you by the stage then we'll head out"
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
I say sure thing, looking forward to it. This morning she texts me at 9 am "hey it's gonna rain today but I think it should clear up in time for our date" I'm like cool, I'll be there
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
She then says so I know all of you here are on tinder and I'm like ????????????????????????????
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
Then she says I've invited you all here for a chance to go on a date with me and proceeds to give a hunger games speech about what its gonna take to date her
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
At that point I am genuinely amazed at the fallopian fortitude this girl possesses. This is top 10 greatest finesse of all time. Dudes actually stayed and played.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
I went home.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
The scene pic.twitter.com/U0ROAWKDQc
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
What the hell did we just read?
Thank You for sharing. The audacity, the boldness. The lies. The deceit. y’all got hoodwinked. I kinda love.
— Fab (@fabiannamedina) August 20, 2018
Lol notice I technically never said a bad thing about her. I have to respect that level of finesse
— миша (@bvdhai) August 20, 2018
We don’t know … we respect that guy’s finesse. Not sure we’d be coherent after experiencing something like that.
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) August 20, 2018
W.
T.
F. https://t.co/yHkDlXyz7W— Inez Stepman (@InezFeltscher) August 20, 2018
https://twitter.com/YeahYeahGoMe/status/1031606460331880448
It may take us a while to recover.
What a horrible thing to do to people. https://t.co/mHVjgVchfu
— Mark Hemingway (@Heminator) August 20, 2018
Seriously.
I TRUST NO ONE. I TRUST NOTHING ANYMORE. VANITY WILL BE THE DEMISE OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION. DON'T GET GOT. THE END.
— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
Duly noted.