Two Texans planned to form their own mercenary army and take over Haiti. Yes, really.
Federal prosecutors say two Texans, Gavin Rivers Weisenburg, 21, and Tanner Christopher Thomas, 20, allegedly plotted to recruit homeless people as a mercenary “army” to seize Haiti’s Gonâve Island, kill the men, and enslave women and children, allegedly planning to buy a… pic.twitter.com/wn9Dbjvqee
— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) November 24, 2025
Sounds like a foolproof plan. Not.
Where’s Lord Miles? https://t.co/XTNb1zYxxL pic.twitter.com/Byrixcxtl4
— ak (@1akenh) November 25, 2025
Has anyone seen him in the same room with these two before?
I feel like I may have had something to do w this https://t.co/IDz9QHzumz pic.twitter.com/HJTxfBBkBP
— Jake (@jakebg32) November 25, 2025
Shame!
And they say young men today lack ambition https://t.co/le4r02EQkf
— Magills (@magills_) November 24, 2025
God forbid two young men catch a vibe and plan to take over a small country!
Why are federal prosecutors going after red-blooded young American men instead of prosecuting the seditious democrat billionaires and politicians that are working to destroy our country?? https://t.co/jwCFYhX1z5
— Dr. Ben Braddock (@GraduatedBen) November 25, 2025
It's a waste of resources. Heh.
I can’t even get teens to read a book. https://t.co/lav1Fb5Jnk
— AJZ (@ajzeigler) November 24, 2025
Most parents can't get them to take out the trash.
When I was 20 my biggest concerns were drinking and trying to meet women…
— Unapologetically Apologetic (@CascadiaDream) November 25, 2025
My how times have changed https://t.co/6L1MgVnyoq
Apparently, they are fighting back against the male loneliness epidemic.
Every so often someone tries another Operation Red Dog and it just doesn't work. https://t.co/JxiFMC4rkf
— Julia Platz💎Halter (@JPlatzHalter) November 24, 2025
When the 4am table conversations make it to the next day… https://t.co/FN1DoUMPEX
— Luthers Body Shop (@luther_napa) November 24, 2025
Recommended
When the group text makes it to real life.
Her: “I bet he’s cheating.”
— Trent Baker (@MagnifiTrent) November 24, 2025
Him with the boys: https://t.co/zFyOUB7gdZ
Really, he's procuring a boat and weapons. At least they weren't lazy.
Idiots. Don't they know the easiest way to traffic and enslave Haitian children is via the Clinton Foundation and "disaster relief"?
— Banana In The Tailpipe (@TailpipeBanana) November 24, 2025
Such rookies.
— Hookah Dončić (@Hookah_Heel77) November 24, 2025
If I had a nickel for every time I recruited a drone army, or harvested stem cells to grow a chimera meat monster, or stole the plans to the solar array of the future, I'd have many nickels, I can tell you that right now.
— Area Man (@lheal) November 24, 2025
Add brunch and that's basically a regular weekend.
This sounds like a plan made at 4 AM after two days of weed and whiskey.
— Daisy (@DaisyBelleLace) November 24, 2025
And the weed was laced with something real bad.