You might want to sit down for this one. We certainly did.
According to Resistance member and purported social commentator Fifty Shades of Whey, who boasts over 170K Twitter followers, Jesus — are you sure you’re ready for this? — wasn’t a white guy:
It's November 1st. The War on Christmas has officially begun. Jesus wasn't white. Yep, that's right. Your son of God is not a white man. He's as brown as me. pic.twitter.com/N6uVl0nVOH
— Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) November 1, 2021
The only thing that could possibly be more shocking than Jesus not being white is that there are people out there who legit think that pointing out Jesus wasn’t white is some kind of brilliant own.
https://twitter.com/KatePaulDillon/status/1455257387636568072
He was a Middle Eastern Jew. Your tweet isn't "breaking news".
— Physics Geek (@physicsgeek) November 1, 2021
I don't think anyone seriously believes Jesus had blond hair and blues eyes like in some dumb Hollywood biblical epic. He was a person of His time and His area (and that wasn't Scandinavia.) This is a non issue. https://t.co/Hd4NnhXYpM
— Mike Glenn (@mrglenn) November 1, 2021
Apparently Jesus’ followers don’t really care what color his skin was.
https://twitter.com/OneFineJay/status/1455282418064269313
https://twitter.com/fkapubs/status/1455253241734656000
Apparently not everyone’s as race-obsessed as Fifty Shades of Whey.
You're really sticking to Europeans in the 1800s
— MirCat (Parity) (@TRMirCat) November 1, 2021
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He sure is!
He also wasn't a Christian so https://t.co/wt9LHP3iFW
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) November 1, 2021
Jesus was a Jewish man in the Middle East? NO! I am SCANDALIZED by this knowledge. 😂 https://t.co/7ophdRULt8
— Emily Zanotti (@emzanotti) November 1, 2021
Is that supposed to be surprising? Because literally every Christian is aware that Jesus was a Middle Eastern Jew. https://t.co/76jJmPSMMI
— Archimusik (@Archimusik) November 1, 2021
https://twitter.com/BecketAdams/status/1455252142382530564
O…k? I'm MUCH browner than you, mijo. Damn near everyone knows Jesus wasn't white. Were you under the impression that this was new or relevant info? How is this a "War on Christmas," exactly? If you're gonna be Grinchy, the color you're looking for is green, not brown, bruh 😅 https://t.co/26UEy5KCmT
— Trey Felder (@TbirdTr3y_10) November 1, 2021
Mary was indeed a Jewish Israelite, though we are still awaiting the 23 & Me results for God the Father. https://t.co/kKShCxw1Kl
— Jerry Dunleavy (@JerryDunleavy) November 1, 2021
Ha!
This is one of my favorite leftwing fantasy arguments.
Each year they imagine this revelation will be psychologically devasting to all the people they devote their time to having fantasy arguments with in their head.
They share it with each other gleefully anticipating outrage. https://t.co/9Yjk0PY9Tz
— Chad Felix Greene (@chadfelixg) November 1, 2021
It's November 1st. The War on Christmas has officially begun. Leftists, desperate to show everyone how “racist” you are, make assumptions on what you believe based on a painting of a white-looking Jesus that used to hang on their grandparent’s wall. https://t.co/0GVdoLtEH1
— ⚡️Erick Brockway⚡️ (@erickbrockway) November 1, 2021
"Jesus looked pretty much the way you'd guess if the Bible was 100% historically accurate" is not much of a dunk on Christians. https://t.co/k6IbgkVlyW
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) November 1, 2021
That’s all this was meant to be: a dunk on Christians.
More like an air ball.
I'm so thankful you are here to remind us all that Jesus's true intents on Earth were to ruin holidays and sow racial tensions.
— Federalist Muskrat 🇺🇸 (@Muskrat__) November 1, 2021