OMG: No, media. Donald Trump did not 'lash out at baby' at rally'; Here's the transcript

So, this happened.

https://twitter.com/SteveBuckland4/status/760512984091205637

Boy, are they. The media is actually already giddily reporting that Donald Trump kicked a baby out of his rally today.

This sounds like journalists' typical Twitter snark RT @HallieJackson: A second-by-second roller coaster of emotions pic.twitter.com/zRHCIBrYh5

— Mollie (@MZHemingway) August 2, 2016

Only now their snark counts as actual reporting?

This Trump baby thing is being taken SUPER SERIALLY by journalists. So I guess it wasn't said as a joke? Sounds like Trumpian humor, no?

— Mollie (@MZHemingway) August 2, 2016

Yes, it does sound like off-the-cuff joking. But to journos? Nope. Super serious is right. Take a look at just the first two (Politico and NBC):

It's Politico-official: Trump kicked a baby out of his rally in Virginia today: https://t.co/3vSaWWw9cR

— Jason Noble (@jasonnobleIA) August 2, 2016

Trump: There can be only ONE crying baby at my rally and THAT'S ME! Get 'em out of here! https://t.co/EsvNoHMzbQ

— Tina Dupuy (@TinaDupuy) August 2, 2016

Another:

So Trump asks a mother to take her crying baby out of his rally. I am not kidding. https://t.co/cgtIUPkLcK @Rosie @Alyssa_Milano

— SamTheMailman (@SamTheMailman) August 2, 2016

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And this:

Donald Trump Lashes Out at a Crying Baby https://t.co/s4nYEaRJnA

— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) August 2, 2016

LASHED OUT. Crikey.

Others on Twitter took the bait:

There's only room for one big crying baby at a Trump rally.

— Danielle Blake?️ (@abradacabla) August 2, 2016

Trump ejecting a crying baby from a political rally … can anyone really say they are surprised by that?

— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) August 2, 2016

Trump has 5 kids but has probably never had to console a crying baby. Because, y'know, that's a woman's job. https://t.co/xKohMpePu8

— one-bed trope (@typicalfeminist) August 2, 2016

Trump must have misheard when his staff told him to “kiss” a baby, kicked one out instead https://t.co/IJP2XY9FTv

— Gwen Rocco (@gwenrocco) August 2, 2016

Good grief. Support him or not, the media is WAY out of hand.

Trump makes a joke about a crying baby. The media treats it like it’s some great insight into his psyche. And we wonder why he’s doing well.

— Steve Krakauer (@SteveKrak) August 2, 2016

Soon this headline will be "Trump Eats Baby At Virginia Rally." And it won't really shock us, will it? https://t.co/UG72wqYUnv

— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) August 2, 2016

Seriously.

But wait … what’s this?

https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/760507764003266560

Huh.

Really funny, actually https://t.co/8ZLvegmMSz

— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) August 2, 2016

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/760510183953096704

Yep. Well, at least it proves this evergreen tweet:

#EvergreenTweet https://t.co/Pz0dAg3UGg

— Lori Ziganto (@snarkandboobs) August 2, 2016

Paradoxically, the humorless are the funniest people of all.

— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 2, 2016

That’s the media!