#DNCSchedule: Chris Matthews, dancing vaginas and liars, oh my!

As the Republican National Convention kicks off in Tampa, Fla., it has some folks wondering what the DNC schedule will be. Enter, #DNCSchedule and comedy gold.

#DNCSchedule Day one: Ask where the hell everyone is

— I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous (@DenverBizGuy) August 28, 2012

Ha! Indeed. If a convention has no attendees, does it make a sound?

#DNCSchedule 'Logical Fallacies and How to Master Them' by Barack Obama, 12:00pm-8:00pm

— Taxation is Theft (@ProLibertyDude) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule The 'effective use of twitter' workshop by Anthony Weiner has been canceled

— Kristi Ryan (@hoosierclinger) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule Their ceremonial lighting of the flag is always moving….

— ❌John Johnson – American Patriot?? (@Onelifetogive) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule Obama's "accomplishments" read aloud——- 8:00 pm until 8:01pm.

— BringtheFlag (@BringtheFlag) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule 9:00 pm The Dancing Vaginas will perform

— ??Linda ?? (@WYVettelvr) August 28, 2012

Oh, dear. Sadly, that one is funny because it’s true.

https://twitter.com/GARock945/status/240463217627893760

Plus, a symposium on all that is racist.

https://twitter.com/nolesfan2011/status/240466819377414144

According to Maher, so are women and African-Americans and Mormons.

#DNCSchedule 'An In-Depth Look Inside the Minds of Joe Biden, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi' 3:00pm-3:01pm

— Taxation is Theft (@ProLibertyDude) August 28, 2012

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#DNCSchedule 'Empowering Women Symposium' Teaching women why they are incapable of providing $9 contraception for themselves w/o government.

— Taxation is Theft (@ProLibertyDude) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule from 12-3, RU486 pills will be handed out daily for those who had unprotected sex the night before.

— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule "Overreacting to Protesters, or How to Fake Getting Spit On" by Emanuel Cleaver #tcot #LNYHBT

— Big Irish Dude (@BigIrishDude) August 28, 2012

#DNCSchedule "Private airplane maintenance and finance" by Claire McCaskill #tcot #LNYHBT

— Big Irish Dude (@BigIrishDude) August 28, 2012

https://twitter.com/patrickdurham2/status/240481247216930816

Heh. Wonder if they will pull the “we totally meant to have low attendance” card? Again.

More, please, Twitter!