We apologize for missing this breaking news: former Vice President Mike Pence posted it a couple of days ago. We weren't even aware that he was writing a book, but UPS just dumped a cardboard box full of copies on his front step. It's called "What Conservatives Believe: Rediscovering the Conservative Conscience." Here's what conservatives don't believe in anymore: losing. Rolling over and voting with Democrats. "Reaching across the aisle" and then getting stabbed in the back. We trust Pence to educate us on what conservatives believe about as much as we do Bill Kristol or Rick Wilson.
Look What Just Arrived at our Home in Indiana! —the very first copies of my new book, “What Conservatives Believe: Rediscovering the Conservative Conscience.” It will be available where all good books are sold June 2nd! You Can Pre-Order your Copy Today! https://t.co/QBZzcK73G4🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/ftyotqGl6Y
— Mike Pence (@Mike_Pence) May 17, 2026
This will sell zero copies.
Gentle reminder that these book deals are basically money laundering operations for bribes
— Auron MacIntyre (@AuronMacintyre) May 18, 2026
You couldn't find 1000 people in the US who want to read this https://t.co/TTm0Em5cv3
Correct. 3% of Republicans would vote for him. No Democrats would switch sides to vote for him.
— Patrick Byrne (@PatrickByrne) May 19, 2026
Yet he got paid a $1.4 million advance.
“It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow.”
A $1.4 million advance? What publisher would be willing to lose that much money? It is a money laundering operation.
The only “sales” will come from public libraries
— Ben Matlock’s Seersucker Suit (@kindlyinquisitr) May 18, 2026
Soon to be found in the bargain bin at dollar general.
— John Slaughter, Esq. (@JSlaughterEsq) May 18, 2026
Within a week or two... pic.twitter.com/WR0Xs3IfFM
— Nicholas Holcomb (@NickHolcomb) May 17, 2026
If you open the book it’s just a principled defense of losing for 250 pages.
— 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐨𝐬 (Golden Age Arc) (@myth_pilot) May 18, 2026
So is your PAC going to buy a bunch like Gavin’s did? Nobody else will.
— Wendy Kortepeter (@WKortepeter) May 18, 2026
Soon to litter landfills in Africa. Bro, ain't nobody reading that.
— theRoddick (@OriginalRoddick) May 17, 2026
Nobody is reading that and the only ones sold are bought by the publisher as gifts. Hope you got a good advance aka kickback.
— Airborne (@abnheel) May 18, 2026
Ah, the old "politician launders money with a book nobody will read" trick. Very cool, Mike. Very conservative. Very principled.
— Wolf Bronsky (@WolfBronsky) May 18, 2026
You want to tell people who the largest bulk purchaser of your last book was?
I'm embarrassed to be your neighbor.
— Charles Haywood (@TheWorthyHouse) May 18, 2026
According to Amazon, Pence's book is a New York Times "Most Anticipated Book of 2026." Here's an excerpt from the blurb:
Few politicians have the strength of character of former Congressman, Governor, and Vice President Pence. Pence is the standard bearer for true conservative values at a time when many readers and voters no longer understand what it means to be a conservative, or why conservative values are so important.
In What Conservatives Believe, Pence writes about the importance of conservatism with authority, respect, and candor. As he's fond of saying, "I'm a conservative but I'm not in a bad mood about it." A true statesman and leader, Pence defines conservatism for a new generation in what promises to become a timeless conservative classic.
"A timeless conservative classic."
You'd produce a better book about America by printing out and binding all the comments on this post.
— Librarian of Celaeno (@ExLibrisCelaeno) May 18, 2026
Nobody asked for this. It's traditional for candidates running for office to publish books. Pence 2028?
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