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Real Journalist™ sounds alarm over Americans stocking up on another weapon of war 'deliberately designed to intimidate and kill'

It’s not just gun sales that are up during the Summer of Peaceful Protests. Americans are getting their hands on another dangerous weapon of war.

The Week national correspondent Ryan Cooper has the scoop:

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A marketing gimmick. Nailed it, Ryan. One hundred percent.

We need commonsense mega-pickup reform. We can’t allow assault trucks on our streets.

Yeah, farmers should just get around on bicycles or something. They can carry lumber and fertilizer in those little basket things. They don’t need all that fancy sh*t.

Not even a smidgen.

We’re fortunate to have intrepid Real Journalists™ like Ryan to keep us informed about this disturbing development.

In case it wasn’t already clear, we were being sarcastic back there. Ryan Cooper is a tool.

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To be fair, though, that Amish guy doesn’t drive a death truck.

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We’re gonna go with the second one.

Ask and you shall receive:

Perfect.

But if Ryan’s really worried about assault pickups, he should take some comfort in knowing that it could be so much scarier:

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***

Update:

OK, conservatives. Time to tone down the postmodern culture war signaling and unsubtle Freudian neurosis:

Oh, he’s pushing it, all right.

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