If Eric Garland weren’t real, we’d have to invent him. No, seriously. If you thought Oliver Willis’ take on Trump issuing a posthumous pardon of black heavyweight boxing champ Jack Johnson was a hot mess … wait til you see Eric “Game Theory” Garland’s:
— Jimmy (@JimmyPrinceton) May 24, 2018
How … what … how … ?
Cmon that can't possibly be real
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) May 24, 2018
It is real I’m afraid.
— Jimmy (@JimmyPrinceton) May 24, 2018
Before you ask: yes, it's real. https://t.co/qd6Bbfxfyx
— Esoteric Jeff (@EsotericCD) May 24, 2018
Indeed it is:
TRUMP ATTEMPTING TO SET PRECEDENT TO EXCUSE HUMAN TRAFFICKING OF PROSTITUTES.
PAY ATTENTION. https://t.co/ZIAkAN4vMU
— Eric Garland (@ericgarland) May 24, 2018
The Gorilla Channel needs to cover this — STAT!
Really? That seems like a stretch.
— patty steele slats (@mylittlevictory) May 24, 2018
A stretch? A STRETCH??? You need to wake up, Peppermint Petty. Open your eyes!
PIMPOTUS.
DO NOT BE DISTRACTED.
— Eric Garland (@ericgarland) May 24, 2018
We’re speechless. We are without speech.
mother of god.
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) May 24, 2018
What a time to be alive.
Trump: The Fugitive Slave Act was bad.
Eric Garland: PRESIDENT PEE PEE TAPE SUPPORTS FUGITIVES AND DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE'S PROPERTY RETURNED TO THEM! IMPEACH!!!
— neontaster (@neontaster) May 24, 2018
Eric Garland is now defending Jim Crow to own Trump.
Yes, you read that right. https://t.co/VmtLPauWUH
— Matt (@CalmCacophony) May 24, 2018
Recommended
Amazing.
Wow. Just um… https://t.co/XV4MRBzOGD
— Mickey White (@BiasedGirl) May 24, 2018
Hot takes! Get your hot takes here!!!
— John Alvarado (@john_chris_1) May 24, 2018
https://twitter.com/lachlan/status/999760242048159744
DAMMIT EVEN GARLAND IS STILL BETTER AT THIS THAN I https://t.co/4IkfzFocGl
— (((≠))) (@ThomasHCrown) May 24, 2018
“Eric Garland” is clearly the most brilliant bit of performance art of our time.
— RhythmDoc (@RhythmDoc01) May 24, 2018
How would one satirize this man? https://t.co/oxfSleHvm2
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) May 24, 2018
One cannot.
It is impossible to parody Eric Garland in a way that surpasses the reality of Eric Garland. https://t.co/JYlPYuLm5w
— neontaster (@neontaster) May 24, 2018
Yeah, that screencap was real. I checked. This freak. I hope the people who legitimized him are embarrassed. pic.twitter.com/wtY8EIInt6
— YourFiveHatsAreUp (@Popehat) May 24, 2018
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