We haven’t checked in on Taylor Lorenz in a while. If you’ll recall, she recently made the move from getting paid by the New York Times to watch TikTok and troll and harass people on social media who she doesn’t like to getting paid by the Washington Post to watch TikTok and troll and harass people on social media who she doesn’t like. Nice work if you can get it.

Anyway, it seems that despite moving to the Washington Post, Taylor still hasn’t managed to shake her critics. Believe it or not, there are still people out there who don’t understand how someone as hip and desirable as her could possibly be single and satisfied and successful.

Crazy, right? But here we are:

Taylor Lorenz has broken too many men’s brains to count. We’ve all been there, haven’t we, ladies?

Sing it, sister.

Oh, don’t be modest, Taylor. The Onion couldn’t hold a candle to you when it comes to parody.

We’re all her for it. Every last one of us.

But … but Taylor Lorenz wouldn’t just say something ridiculously and insanely stupid with absolutely no evidence to back it up. Would she?

There’s something very familiar about Taylor’s defense, but we can’t quite put our finger on it. Can anyone help?

Ah! Yes! There it is. The AOC Defense. No honest person actually buys it, but it sure is fun to bust it out.

Oh, most definitely. Taylor was right at home at the New York Times, and she’s a perfect fit for the Washington Post.

She may even be the perfect fit for some lucky guy out there:

Heh.

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