Capitalism reigns supreme on Black Friday. What’s a cranky old socialist like Bernie Sanders to do?

Well, it goes a little something like this:

Good for those patriotic millionaires! Far be it from us to stand in their way.

Bernie’s one of those millionaires, after all. He wrote a bestseller, remember?

Go for it, Bernie. Lead by example! Show the rest of us how the government knows far better than we do how to spend our money.

Bernie’s excuse is that he’s a greedy old socialist. He’s not doing any of this out of the goodness of his heart.

Anyone who thinks only “the rich” would be punished under Bernie Sanders’ vision is deluding themselves. We’d all get screwed. No thanks.