Jacob Wohl, call your office! Check out the 'staff' behind Surefire Intelligence [pics]

As Twitchy told you, junior supergenius Jacob Wohl is finally getting all that attention, now that “Surefire Intelligence” has been linked to an apparent attempt to bribe women to make sexual assault allegations against Robert Mueller.

So, if you’re like most people, you’re probably wondering exactly who’s behind Surefire Intelligence. Well, consider the mystery solved:

Looking into the employees for "Surefire Intelligence" on LinkedIn, and it's not a promising start for this being a legit place. pic.twitter.com/LgCtEsAsjt

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

Surefire Intelligence's "Tel Aviv Station Chief" is an Israeli supermodel pic.twitter.com/W6S8IOhT5P

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

More! At least three supposed Surefire employees, including "station chiefs" in DC and Tel Aviv, use fake LinkedIn headshots. The two station chiefs' pics are actually of Israeli model Bar Rafaeli and Sigourney Weaver's husband https://t.co/rxkjMs4ZPV

— Lachlan Markay (@lachlan) October 30, 2018

Jacob Wohl is a moron and didn't realize that there are reverse image search engines other than Google when he was adding filters to these pictures. Yandex got this as the very first result.

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

Surefire Intelligence's LA "Private Investigator" is British model/photographer Nick Hopper. pic.twitter.com/493cZW9w3w

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

Surefire Intelligence's "Head of Government Relations" also works as a model for stock photos. pic.twitter.com/2mQgQFTweT

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

Surefire Intelligence's "Financial Investigator" in Zurich is Christoph Waltz. What a great hire! pic.twitter.com/Leu1KLe0XC

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

Surefire Intelligence's "Deputy Director of Operations" is a minister from Michigan. pic.twitter.com/xctCUHHgsC

— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018

But wait! There’s more!

… and then there's also this: The one "news" story about Surefire, a Medium post from August — https://t.co/FlYp4TOApA — is the only story by "Evan Goldman," a reverse image search of whom actually appears to be model Oran Katan. https://t.co/n4kD7k0Ud9 pic.twitter.com/otV507b4yO

— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner) October 30, 2018

Did you think it couldn’t get better still? Think again:

Odd. Jacob Wohl says he doesn't know nuttin' about Surefire Intelligence, the firm tied to the bizarre Mueller allegations. Take a look at the photos below of Mathhew Cohen, head of 'Surefire,' and of Jacob Wohl. pic.twitter.com/Q1rAW4wkPO

— Jane Mayer (@JaneMayerNYer) October 30, 2018

We … can’t … breathe …

This is one of my favorite threads ever ? https://t.co/U7jmlKUzMA

— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) October 30, 2018

It really is fantastic.

The funniest part of the whole thing is that Wohl clearly put in quite a bit of effort to create this huge network of fake people and companies, but not enough effort for all those fakes to withstand minimal scrutiny https://t.co/PUitIjDMWH

— Lachlan Markay (@lachlan) October 30, 2018

ahahahahaha my God tfg.

his defense before the court should just be 'your honor let's be honest: i'm an incurable goddamn idiot.' https://t.co/8yMqNZvlhK

— Jeff B. (@EsotericCD) October 30, 2018

Wohl would definitely have a strong case.

you just cannot make this stuff up

— maria ballantyne (@anofiscal) October 30, 2018

Well, Jacob thinks you can. But no, you really can’t.

Editor’s note: This post has been updated with an additional tweet.