Good news, everyone! If there's ever another pandemic-induced toilet paper shortage, we have a backup plan: Joe Biden's memoir.
No, really.
The former president was given a $10 million advance for his memoir.
🚨 NEW: President @JoeBiden has reportedly sold his presidential memoir to Hachette for a $10 million advance, per Wall Street Journal.
— Chris D. Jackson (@ChrisDJackson) July 23, 2025
Not bad for a guy they said was “finished.”
Congrats, 46. pic.twitter.com/D7oykClbmg
We should be congratulating his autopen.
Because no one is going to buy this, right? We mean both the book and that Biden is writing anything that isn't composed of crayon.
Here's more from the Daily Mail, including this tidbit: $10 million is far less than the deals inked by former presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton:
The former president, 82, sold his presidential memoir to Hachette Book Group for around $10million, The Wall Street Journal reported on Wednesday.
The monetary figure is likely to be disappointing for the Bidens, given Barack and Michelle Obama inked a deal worth an estimated $65million for their memoirs.
And Bill Clinton secured $15million for his memoir 'My Life' more than 21 years ago. The book was released in 2004.
President Trump opted not to publish a memoir after his first term in office.
It is understood Hachette has not yet locked in a publication date for Biden's memoir.
The 82-year-old has been hard at work detailing his White House years, writing at his home office in Delaware and his post-presidential office in Washington D.C.
He said at an event earlier in July that he was 'working my tail off' to get the memoir finished, indicating it would primarily focus on his four years in office.
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No one is going to buy this, right? We mean both the book and that Biden is writing anything that isn't composed of crayon.
Also, how did the Obamas get $65 million for their memoirs and Clinton only got $15 million? Don't misunderstand this writer -- neither is worth that much -- but the disparity is mind-boggling.
Anyone wanna bet $1,000 it sells more than @JakeTapper's smut?
— Chris D. Jackson (@ChrisDJackson) July 23, 2025
Yeah, Chris has a man crush on old Joe.
He's not subtle about it.
Why did you use a photo of Biden from 2017? 🤔https://t.co/WuGabADppn pic.twitter.com/mkXGEvrDKZ
— Kelley K (@KelleyKga) July 24, 2025
Joe Biden had a functioning brain in 2017.
It’s called “Listen Here JACK!” and will have have more ghost writers than Marco Rubio has jobs
— ¡El SooperMexican! ن c137 🦬 (@SooperMexican) July 24, 2025
Safest bet ever.
Can’t decide if this post is funny because you think he’s going to write a word of it or if it’s because you believe this isn’t a pay off and Hatchette thinks anyone will buy it.
— Bleu Cheque (@VERBAL_CHANCLA) July 24, 2025
How about both?
Not sure I would pay an advance to an 82 year-old man, but I’m sure his ghost writers are on the job.
— AmishDude (@TheAmishDude) July 24, 2025
Jill and Hunter are typing away furiously.
Hey, do you know if they'll release an edition on toilet paper, because that's the only practical use I can imagine for this guy's imaginary story.
— Problematic AF™🔥 (@EF517_V3) July 24, 2025
As this writer said.
We gonna pretend he wrote it? https://t.co/Sv0sOtFYup
— Bonchie (@bonchieredstate) July 24, 2025
Chris sure is.
The rest of us live in reality.
Nothing says "Biden's not too old" quite like sharing a photo of him from 8 years ago. 🫠 https://t.co/Vqc5GYh4Qk pic.twitter.com/wNAkNJgAg6
— Kelley K (@KelleyKga) July 24, 2025
That really is the *chef's kiss* isn't it?
Don't you actually have to remember something to write a memoir? https://t.co/OwFkNEU8VP
— Ordnance Jay Packard Esq. (@OrdnancePackard) July 24, 2025
The genre is kind of based on having memories, yes.
Every moment of this is funnier than the last https://t.co/Our5WoiUXz
— Aelfred The Great (@aelfred_D) July 24, 2025
Truly. What a time to be alive.
Who will he plagiarize for this one? https://t.co/RFI8AdURpf
— The🐰FOO (@PolitiBunny) July 24, 2025
Guess we'll find out.