If you read my last VIP, you know I made the mistake of suggesting a young mother didn't need to get up 3-5 times every evening to feed a healthy 7-month-old. I was told that it's 'natural' for baby to do that and we shouldn't try to support baby toward different behaviors. Then, I saw this tweet, and I found it fascinating.
i love how important it is to support baby’s head while baby just wants to throw that thing back as hard and as fast as she can
— Tetralogy of Fallout: New Vegas (@_parasocial) August 24, 2026
When inexperienced people hold a small baby, people will repeat over and over 'make sure you support the neck' or 'hold baby's neck'. We know a baby has this instinct to throw his head back and even headbutt the adult holding them if given the chance. That's their instinct. Adults know it's harmful to baby so we hold the baby's neck so they can't do that.
Then, we give the baby tummy time so they have to raise their neck and it begins to strengthen the neck muscles. Sometimes during tummy time, the baby will really protest. Both of mine HATED it. I did it though because my doctor said it was necessary for my baby's development and to keep their head from getting a flat spot.
I'm assuming all the Mothers who think it's cruel to allow a baby to fuss for a few minutes before Mother rushes into console don't do tummy time either because it does upset the baby. Heaven forbid, a baby ever fusses.
It’s tummy time!
— Dan Wuori (@DanWuori) October 20, 2024
Newborns sleep a lot… and sleep most safely on their backs - which means that the preponderance of their time is spent face up.
While they are wakeful, it’s important that you balance this with periods of well supervised “tummy time” during which they are… pic.twitter.com/KaGNNwDZ58
Dan is an expert in parenting who explains why tummy time is important. So, why is it ok for parents to allow baby to face some discomfort for tummy time, but not for sleeping? Both are advantageous for a baby's development.
It’s no surprise so many young mothers feel unhappy and overwhelmed. From pregnancy onward, they’re bombarded with rigid rules that isolate them and demand total self-erasure.
They’re told that for the first several weeks only their husband should be near them and the baby. If relatives visit at all, they mustn’t hold the infant — they should scrub the floors and do laundry so Mom can sit and nurse uninterrupted. Going outside is discouraged because of germs. They’re expected to baby-wear constantly, co-sleep, and feed on demand and not just for the early weeks, but long after pediatricians say continuous on-demand feeding is necessary. Any attempt at a schedule or sleep training is branded cruel.
Breastfeeding mothers who offer an occasional bottle are warned of “nipple confusion.”
Older women who suggest otherwise are dismissed as products of a supposedly abusive, unenlightened generation. The message is clear: put the baby’s every need above your marriage, your rest, and your own judgment, or the internet will brand you a bad mother.
The result is a generation of new mothers who feel they must abandon normal adult relationships and common sense just to meet an ever-shifting, all-or-nothing standard of “good” parenting.
When you take away all of their real-life community because you've demanded they stay inside, all they have are the internet shrews.
Is this what mothers are doing nowadays?
— Thomas Sowell Quotes (@ThomasSowell) August 20, 2026
Why does she have to film this? pic.twitter.com/8kNwLJRzzs
— Luka (@LukaLev) August 24, 2026
I believe mothers who are allowed to care about their own health, their sleep, and their marriages are happier people. That begins with sleeping well again.
Every new mother faces a few months of brutal sleep deprivation and that’s unavoidable. But with a normal, healthy baby, it’s possible to regain some sense of normalcy afterward.
Every mother I’ve spoken to who finally gets a full eight hours after sleep training says the same thing: “I feel like a new woman.” There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.
So no matter how angry the online crowds get, I’ll keep singing the praises of sleep training. If even one mother hears it and her life improves, it was worth it.
