You really can’t make this stuff up.

In a similar vein to the “terrorist blowing themselves up” videos that have gone viral in years past, over the weekend seven Hamas militants were killed when the tunnel they were working on collapsed.

During the memorial service, Hamas decided it was time to roll out their “locally produced” tank, fashioned based off an Israel tank that had been captured two years prior.

Heavy emphasis on “locally produced.”

A Hamas spokesman warned Israel and the rest of the world that this tank would be used to conduct a “path of jihad”.

There’s just one problem.

Is that gun turret actually a sewage pipe?

Way to strike fear into the hearts of Israelites and Americans…

  • JD

    The Vox.com of the terrorist world

    • Red Dirt Ready

      And Salon

  • Jerry Shelton

    To be the first kid on the block with that in the drive way still has a cool factor….

    • DwellsInFire

      Well, when people build their own tanks for the kids, they still use real tank tracks and not wheels:

      • Jerry Shelton

        Wow! way cool

      • globalcrap

        My kids want one

        • bxarmybrat

          Hell I want one.

      • Grumpy

        I bet no one fu(ks with the neighborhood watch in that place…

      • Gregory724

        Where can you GET one of these!!?? Too cool!… for my 9 yr old grandson!

        • DwellsInFire

          You can’t GET one. You have to custom build one. If you want to learn how, there are a couple of youtube channels that show what’s involved. See all the user’s videos in the channels at the links below :


      • 13B_Artillery_Crew

        Dude, I want that

  • vetgal1970

    Looks like something Obama would build

    • John_Wayne_American

      I don’t think Obama has the skills even if you spotted him a complete set of Dewalt cordless tools, and Ty from Extreme Home Makeover marked the plywood out for him.

      • Dave In Arizona

        Well, if Obama could build such a tank, it would end up in the ISIS arsenal.

    • bobbyt1964

      Obama abandoned the Humvee it was made out of.

      • bxarmybrat

        Like the inside-out Radio Shack clock in an attache case.

  • nc ✓s & balances

    But BHO has assured us that Islam is the religion of innovation. We’re just not sophisticated enough to appreciate this new, advanced design.

    • vetgal1970

      Cool tank Ahmed – bo

    • Mark81150 school of the Duke

      yep.. they’ll be parading their newly designed high capacity assault scimitars pretty soon too…
      the cutting edge with their advances in high speed communication… the new Tehranogragh with it’s single metal wire running from pole to pole.. linking the high tech islamic world…. .. spanning an area the size.. of well… a CITY block!!!!…… HAZZAH!!!!……
      Beat THIS technology YANKEE DOGS…. har har…….
      oh.. and they gots stealthy fighter bombers too.. for realz guys.. their propaganda minster said so..
      so there…. neener neener…..
      which the western powers are like TOTALLY not laughing at…

      shut up…..
      I keel you……

      • nc ✓s & balances

        ha ha, real “cutting edge.”

  • ripper58 ✓Deplorable Me

    That is soooo funny… I can’t even

  • Michael

    Silence! We keeeel you!

  • Rogue Cheddar

    And thus humanity advances by leaps and bounds.

  • Jeff Henderson ✓Bona Fide

    This is what they choose to spend aid money on. Shut it off.

    • Mark81150 school of the Duke

      some mullah’s nephew had a weekend project….
      hey.. they have to keep nepotism alive and find some way to keep their spoiled Euro night club schlepping brats on the payroll.. not like they actually graduated with a real degree….

      • Arttie the Deplorable

        Clock boy?

      • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

        Somebody wanted to ONE-UP Clock-mehd and his “briefcase clock”, so they went with this. Not sure if it worked or not.

        • Perdido

          Clockmehd designed the radar and electronics for that tank.

  • Carolyn#OYSD

    Wait….didn’t the Trojan’s use something similar?

    • spaceycakes

      a large wooden condom

    • DwellsInFire

      The Iranians tried to fool the west by building a fake stealth plane model, so this kind of thing isn’t new.

      • Philly Cheesesteak

        Didn’t they forget to remove the Mattel label or something like that?

  • reddarin

    Top secret photos of new companion vehicle for tank: Locally produced ATV.

    • kennyraisin

      Hopefully the next version will have dual brakes or some little terrorist will be going in circles on a downhill run.

      • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

        I noticed that right away. Growing up in West Virginia, one either learns about gravity early or ends up with a permanent limp or physical disfigurement.

        • kennyraisin

          Just a few mountains there.

    • Paula_Alquist

      Kill your enemies while being environmentally friendly!

      • Rabid

        Only if it’s made from recycled materials.

    • Mark81150 school of the Duke

      will it use their like totes green technology goat propulsion?….
      or do they plan on strapping infidels to it?…

  • AlaskanStyle

    Ever change a flat tire on a tank?

    • ripper58 ✓Deplorable Me

      or a train? lol

    • ToyZebra

      First tank that can be stopped by a box of roofing nails.

      • Arttie the Deplorable

        That aren’t in the suicide vest

  • TCDave

    7th century technology at its finest.

  • spaceycakes

    ‘Way to strike fear into the hearts of Israelites…’

    twitchy, I believe the modern terminology is ‘Israelis’

    • TexSizzle

      The Moose-limbs aren’t modern, so why bother with modern terminology when referring to their plots?

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Go easy on them. Start off with ‘Hebrews’ and work forward through history.

  • Ronald Green

    It’s no wonder the Israelis beat the pants off Hamas every time.

  • constitutionminded

    Perfect example of a govt committee designing something.

  • TundraThunder

    They reinvented the wheel, and it’s still round.

  • grais

    Wood? Are we sure it isn’t cardboard?

    • Penny✓ItsSoFluffy! #GoBolts!

      It might have been spare parts from an Ikea living room.

      • Fred Baginski

        It’s actually the boxes the living room came in!

      • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

        Yeah but, who put it together for them if the instructions for tank assembly was written by Ikea as well?

        • John_Wayne_American

          The instructions were for a battleship, it just wound up being a tank after they modified a few parts to make them fit together

        • Arttie the Deplorable

          Pjama boy.

        • Arttie the Deplorable

          It was written in Ikeaish, it’s a new language

  • Anthony

    When I was a kid I had built an airplane out of fence parts. Like this tank, there was never a fear that anyone would be hurt.

  • phil box

    i guess you could call a “shit for brains” idea.

  • audieho

    Still more real than an Obama economic recovery.

  • Guy Dudebreaux

    Reminds me of that fake Iranian stealth fighter.

  • Memphis Viking

    I think it would be kind of funny if they did have a tank. How long do you reckon it would last?

    • John_Wayne_American

      can you spot a tank from an Israeli drone or satellite? if so.. not long..

    • Carl Allen

      about as long as it takes for the first A-10 to come along and BRRRRRT it with 30mm

  • Lyle Petersen

    The Hamas Parade Float of Death.

  • malclave

    Barbarians. They don’t even know the Tournament of Roses parade was LAST month.

  • kennyraisin

    So all you need is a match and a can of lighter fluid.

    • Arttie the Deplorable

      Australian flame thrower guy

      • kennyraisin

        That would definitely be quicker. Save the lighter fluid for a fine cigar.

    • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

      Unfortunately, preezy Felon’s ROE’s don’t allow soldiers to have either one. Don’t want anybody getting hurt, doncha know?

  • Fire and Adjust!

    Pretty crappy excuse for a Merkava………At least try to build it proportionally….just look at the bottom of the hull, it is level with the bottom of the track……the damned thing would drag its belly on the ground worse than Michael Moore after a Las Vegas all you can eat buffet…………I won’t even get started on the rest of that piece of crap……….

  • Barney Hadden

    I believe the proper term is Israelis unless you are speaking of people’s from 3000 years ago, in which case Israelites would be fine.

    • nc ✓s & balances

      Good catch!

  • NielsZoo

    Is Bruce McGill (D-Day from Animal House) driving it?

    • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

      Great question!! So is the giant “EAT ME” cake underneath the tank façade?

      • swg

        crap beat me to it! The tank is no match for the deathmobile!

        • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

          I can’t wait to see the tank façade fall away and THIS appears to put “fear” into the hearts of the IDF. They will probably LAUGH themselves to death seeing THIS under the tank.

      • NielsZoo

        It’s a layered weapon system. The Tank on top of the Cake on top of the Deathmobile on top of a donkey Hamas stole from some poor Israeli kid.

  • Jeff H ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ comic genius

    I’ve seen infinitely more professional floats at a HS homecoming parade. In the ’70s.

  • Maxx

    It was either the tank on wheels or a cow launching catapult.


    • Rabid

      Or a large wooden Badger….

  • Dan Borden

    I got one large says 30 Hajis are pushing the damn thing.

  • Oysteria (I won)

    This may be the same tank but a different view:

    • Steve__Jacobson

      Only thing I can think of.

      • John_Wayne_American

        They are easier on road surfaces this way..

    • Alexxthegreat

      Looks like a cardboard cut out to me….

  • Arttie the Deplorable

    Damn, it worked for Patton in the north of England in WWII.

    • Rabid

      Those were inflatable tanks.

      • nicholsda

        Well its fighting capabilities are inflated.

  • Evie1949

    Too funny for words.

  • Ty in TX ✓ᵇᵒⁿᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Well now, I see Hamas is ready for Mardi Gras.

  • http://lordfoggybottom.com Lord Foggybottom

    Vote for Bernie Sanders and we can have those too!

  • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

    “See, SEE? I told you last years homecoming float wouldn’t fool anybody!! But, NOOOOOOOO, you kept saying if they believed John Kerry, they’ll believe this is a REAL TANK!!” – Achmed the goat pimp and high school float engineer.

  • docflash9

    What is the air pressure on those tires? A tank usually weighs around 50 tons.

  • MLCross

    Since Global Warming is the biggest threat to mankind, making a tank out of sustainable resources makes perfect sense.

    • Arttie the Deplorable

      AL Gore approved now he just needs to transfer the technology to gis private jet.

    • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

      So…set the “tank” on fire, and the CO2 emissions and smoke produced by burning it will do more damage than actual artillery made with metal and chemicals that go “boom”?

  • whoRUkidn

    Please – – PLEASE – – try to force your way into Israel with your new Tank.

  • https://disqus.com/home/channel/ncaafchattertalkaboutcollegefootball/ David ✓’ed out

    Didn’t I see that tank at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade?

  • Gregor Eisenstein

    A wooden tank, huh? Well, congratulations…Hamas has taken a giant leap forward and has safely arrived in Leonardo da Vinci’s day.

  • j p✓ʳᵉᶠʳᶦᵉᵈ

    Is this how they steer?


  • Arttie the Deplorable

    Baghdad Bob is not available for comment. Danm.

  • ToyZebra

    They have stolen North Korean technology.

  • MyrmidoNOT

    Can you spell “target”…

    Appears to be a soft one.
    Just need to have the splatter paint ‘applied’…

    • Arttie the Deplorable

      Stealthy design in wood/paper mache is hard to locate with radar.

      • MyrmidoNOT

        …don’t even need the ‘follow-up’ guided munition, tho.
        Paint it with a laser, and it will be just ‘gone’…

        Although a Molotov cocktail would be adequate…

        Anyhow, not worth the effort…unless you’re afraid of a spud gun.

  • The Dragon

    ISIS ready to show off their new air force:


  • Mike Jager

    5 rds from my .340 weatherby by by tank and crew 🙂

    • nicholsda

      I hope there is some metal in there to hit as it would then only take one .30 API round to burn it to the ground.

  • sizemorew

    Just one Molotov will take that sucker out. No problem.

  • http://www.whitehouse.gov/ Baroke Insane Owebama

    I’m scared!

    • Tessa from Texas

      Haven’t seen your posting name before but I love it!!

  • Arkuy The Great

    Just like Jar-Jar Binks appearing in coverage of an Iranian missile test.


  • 277Volt

    Apparently “get them laughing so hard they can’t fight” is a real battle plan.

    • Donald-Irredeemable deplorable

      preezy Felon has been trying THAT strategy for seven years now, so why not?

  • Arttie the Deplorable

    It is the only thing that got through the arms embargo? A bunk of OSB.

  • Girl who talks with her eyes

    There’s probably a guy sitting inside it with a deer rifle pointed out the gun turret.
    Either that or yelling, “BANG, BANG, YOU’RE DEAD!”

  • John_Wayne_American

    and over there… in that seemingly empty field.. an entire wing of invisible fighter jets with technology developed under code name wonder woman.. just trust us.. there are airplanes there..

    • LibLieExposer

      They used the “golden lariat” to tie up their sheep and goat brides.

  • American

    Reminds me of some Iraqi lunatic wanting to get on TV at the start of the Iraq War….he jumped out of a car wielding what appeared to be a rocket launcher but, was actually some PVC tubing strapped onto a wooden board slung over his shoulder. Every TV news program ran that 2second clip without ever looking at what they put on air. It was just as hilarious.

  • Russ

    I’m not sure which is more laughable — this, or the Norks and their photoshopped aircraft.

  • sako204

    They are going to strike terror in the hearts of those who attend the next soap box derby.

  • bobbyt1964

    The REALLY sad part is the fact that it was built on top of a US-made Humvee that was abandoned after the Americans cut and ran

  • John_Wayne_American

    Meanwhile in Germany..

  • http://macsen573.wix.com/overdrive Macsen Overdrive

    They’re just like Hillary supporters. They’ll believe anything their masters say.

  • MoxieLouise1

    Is this one of the “many contributions to society” Obama was talking about?

  • http://www.nleomf.org/officers/heroes-behind-the-badge/heroes-behind-badge-sacrifice-survival.html Meatzilla ✓ᴵᴿᴿᴱᴰᴱᴱᴹᴬᴾᴸᴼᴿᴬᴮᴸᴱ

    You almost have to feel somewhat sorry for the inbred knuckles-dragging mouth breathers. They have no business even being there in the first place as there has never been any such thing as “Palestine” or “Palestinians” in all of historical record going back ad infinitum. The whole territory is just a dumping ground for Arab countries to relocate and dispose of their miscreants and undesirables — for the purpose of creating cannon fodder too. It is all just a long-lived blatant lie. They’re just so evolutionally challenged in every possible way, and as such, they’re basically mutants.

    • SchroedingersDeplorableDog

      Waste no time feeling sorry for them. They have backing from Iran at some times and the Gulf states at others.
      The “Palestinians” are Arabs whose purpose is to bend PR against Israel, the actual military wing of the attack is Hezbollah. Hezbollah has professional training, anti-tank RPGs and stabilized-flight rockets from Iran.

      Modern “Palestine” is just the land area within a line on a map drawn after WWI, it is not a distinct nation with a language, culture and history apart from its neighbors. A Palestinian is an Arab who happened to be living within that line when the dust cleared after WWI.

    • Name

      Peoples front of judea or maybe the judean people’s front.

  • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

    Speaking of Jihad technology, the last bit of tweaking is being done on the skateboard incendiary device.


    • Alexxthegreat

      Now…THAT THERE was funnier than shit!

    • ember

      OMGosh! If there were American spies watching that they had to have LOL at that one. #DarwinAwardWinner

  • http://wandererswaysite.wordpress.com Wanderer

    Well, if they were trying to make a parade float, big thumbs up.

  • imcurious

    YEP,that’s a WOODY,for sure

  • James S.

    Just what the hell is an “Israelites”?????? Did you mean Israeli’s but you are too stupid to understand the language?

    • Deplorable AMERICAN™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      An Israelite is someone who is from Israel. Israeli is a term used to decsribe an Israelite, i.e an Israeli national.

  • Deplorable AMERICAN™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

  • paulejb

    Has Hamas adopted Barack Obama’s defense policies?

  • Magnifico

    It’s like a car from “The Flintstones”.

  • tjp77

    Hamas should get in touch with Zimbabwe, because I think they have a helicopter they might be interested in.

  • paulejb

    Hamas – Savage and dimwitted. An unfortunate combination.

  • Alexxthegreat

    Tell me why these savages still even exist?

  • Hamm Sammichez

    Israelis to counter this “threat” with their enhanced-termite bomb. “Nom-nom-nom; oye, such a full belly for a little termite I got.”

    • genes ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

      A thumbs up for the non-PC ethnic humor.

  • snufflupagus

    Palestinians have just bought 100 septic tanks, and when they figure out how to drive them, they are going to invade Israel.

  • Ken

    I thought maybe it was the blow up valve…

  • Arttie the Deplorable

    OTOH, it is natural, so, maybe we’ll see it in next Year’s Rose Parade.

  • I would still bomb the shit out of them. Kill them all and let allah dispose of the bodies.

  • http://venturebrothers.wikia.com/wiki/Dr._Thaddeus_%22Rusty%22_Venture Wallythedog

    Cool, this tank’s 3/4 inch plywood armor will stop any pellet, BB gun or sling shot projectiles. The tank also can keep it’s crew safe from thrown knives, but axes, hatchets and saws may be a problem.

  • Roderick Lalley

    Looks are everything !!! ???

  • Abilene

    Made out of materials provided by Israel to house the poor Palestinians.

  • Misanthrope

    What else can be expected from a pack of ignorant goat-humpers squatting in the desert for 1,400 years?

  • Sally Del

    Have to give them some credit, those instructions can be pretty hard to follow.

  • Harold

    HAMAS and all muslims eat feces

  • wharfrat

    These idiots built a tank out of wood with regular car tires to run on,they live in a fantasy world,Iran captured one of our Drones and bragged about it but were not smart enough to know how to operate it,we use Satellites they expect Allah to lift it up and fly like a bird,they’re still in the 10th century.

  • royaler

    obama’s buddies are dumb.

  • Gregory724

    Still deserves a HELLFIRE missile on their stupid heads!!

  • Tom

    Those medieval savages can’t build anything except terror bombs, and they have to poach Western technology for that.

  • 13B_Artillery_Crew