A teenager called the police in Forest Grove, Ore., to help with a “massive freaking” spider that she said was as big as a baseball. That prompted a Canadian police department to tweet that they will not be saving citizenry from massive freaking spiders any more. You’re on your own, Kingston people! (Unless you’re being harassed by a polar bear, in which case the police will be happy to assist.)
An officer did respond to the scene and estimated the spider was about 2 inches in diameter. Modern police equipment was not necessary to handle the eight-legged perp in this case. The officer disposed of the spider with an old-fashioned rolled up newspaper, police said.
Listen to the audio of the call here.
Whoever runs the department Twitter account seems to have a good sense of humor:
@reccewife @Rich_Wilkinson Then call @KtownFire. Sounds like a job for them. 🙂
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013
@kevin_wiener Ha, we agree! Sounds like a perfect job for an @Oatmeal infographic.
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013
@apocalypseher @Rich_Wilkinson Our negotiator will toss in a throw-phone to talk it down from its web and eventually release you. Trust us.
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013
We'll send in Hagrid and the flying car. #TacticalMagic “@TKPritchard: @kingstonpolice what if it's Aragog? http://t.co/7V6Gxv6VVv”
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013
.@CobourgPolice Good one! This officer years ago had to attend a senior's home to remove 2 bats in her house. #ygkBatman #BetterThanAffleck
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013
Maybe the Golf Channel should consider hiring this guy (or gal). It needs Twitter help.
Update:
@TwitchyTeam Thanks for the promotion, much appreciated.
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013
Editor’s note: Twitchy originally misidentified the police department that took the call about the “massive freaking” spider. An officer in Forest Grove, Ore., not Kingston, Canada, responded to the call. We apologize for the error and have corrected the post.
@TwitchyTeam Just to clarify, it's not our call. Just sharing a link that originally came from Forest Grove, Oregon. They should get kudos.
— Kingston Police (@kingstonpolice) August 29, 2013