How did Hillary Clinton manage to lose the presidential election to a loudmouthed reality star? Was it her robotic presence? Her reputation as an angry, vindictive woman? The fact that she’s clearly guilty of a slew of criminal acts?

Nope. It’s because penises got in her way. And only one of them belonged to Anthony Weiner:

The New York Times Magazine’s Susan Dominus writes:

Already the consensus about why she lost seems to have moved away from gender and toward her, personally: She was the wrong candidate from the start, she never adequately addressed issues of her integrity, she represented a party too closely aligned with elites, in ways the mainstream media vastly underappreciated. But we will also never know how much of her candidacy was derailed by the fact of her being female — not just the way she was victimized, but the way she suffered, even, for other women’s victimization.

And by that, I mean, that her campaign was derailed over and over again by a phenomenon perhaps best characterized as the penis ex machina — the unpredictable and unlikely plot twist provided by men accused of sexual assault or harassment. No fewer than five of these men played crucial roles in handicapping Clinton’s campaign.

Can we just not? Please?

For a different, penis-free take on why Hillary lost, we highly recommend this piece from RedState’s Kimberly Ross.