Earlier today, the Harvard Republican announced in a press release that they would not be supporting Donald Trump’s presidential campaign:

More from the Harvard Crimson:

In the scathing statement, the largest conservative group at Harvard cited “both policy and temperamental concerns” about Trump and condemned his divisive campaign rhetoric they say “is poisoning our country and our children.”

The Republican Club polled its members earlier this week and found that 10 percent of Harvard Republicans intend to support Trump for president, while an “overwhelming majority”—80 percent of polled club members—indicated they would not support the party nominee and 10 percent remained undecided.

“His authoritarian tendencies and flirtations with fascism are unparalleled in the history of our democracy,” the Republican Club said in a statement. “He hopes to divide us by race, by class, and by religion, instilling enough fear and anxiety to propel himself to the White House.”

Philip Bump, who writes for WaPo’s The Fix, thought that was pretty hilarious.

But not nearly as hilarious as the name of the Harvard Republican Club’s president:

People. Just imagine the meeting where this discussion took place. “Well, Declan,” one of them likely said, “the ‘Federalist Papers’ offer some guidance to the intentions and fears of the founders, of course, but I think we must consider the deeper roots of republicanism, small ‘r’ ” — a smirking glance around the room — “and so I offer that we turn to Plato.”

By the way, I did not make up the name Declan. The president of the club is named Declan P. Garvey. I actually called the Crimson just to make sure that the whole thing wasn’t a joke, since Declan P. Garvey couldn’t possibly be the name of the president of the Harvard Republican Club. It is. It is a name so astonishingly on the nose that you’d want to have it removed by an elite plastic surgeon who was himself once a member of the Harvard Republican Club.

So why can’t Declan, Chip and Charles IV support Trump?

Better question: Why can’t Philip Bump not act like a total jackass?

Declan P. Garvey’s, like, such a joke, you guys. Not like that super-serious and totally professional journalist Philip Bump.

Former Harvard Republican Club president Aaron Henricks certainly seems impressed:

As does Harvard Republican Blake Paterson:

As Donald Trump would say, SAD!

And speaking of shaming, Philip, you’re not the only one who can play this stupid game.

We’ll just leave these here: