Now that The New York Times has exposed Marco Rubio’s checkered past, which features four — count ’em, four! — traffic citations since 1997, it’s only natural to wonder: What other terrible crimes has Rubio committed?
As it turns out, the list is huge:
So, so awesome. And it gets even better:
Oh, they are. Don’t worry:
But this is work!
And it’s magically delicious:
For. The. Win.