This afternoon, President Obama took to the podium to address the situation in Iraq. He was over an hour late, but that’s probably because he just lost track of time thinking of really intelligent things to say. Things like this:

Spoken like a true Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Exactly! To be fair, though. Obama understands that Iraq can’t make nice all on its own. It might need a little help:

So, like, make Iran the babysitter. What could go wrong?