As Twitchy reported, sicko Sacramento Democrat official Allan Brauer viciously wished death on Cruz staffer Amanda Carpenter’s children. Brauer also writes at a blog, ironically titled “It Matters How You Say It.” He’s got plenty of advice to give to prospective scribes, but there’s always room for more. To that end, helpful tweeters are offering up more #AllanBrauerProWritingTips:
For impactful business proposals, tell skeptical prospects you want their children to die, In fires. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 20, 2013
A good grant proposal always includes a detailed plan to bury the reviewers' children in shallow graves. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 20, 2013
Don't write sensitive business communications, like ransom notes, on your own! Call a pro like @AllanBrauer #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 20, 2013
For a truly eye catching resume, ensure your objectives include attending the funerals of your manager's family. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael Blum (@MichaelBlum3) September 20, 2013
Everyone does "creepy"; for maximum impact, go full-bore psychotic. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) September 20, 2013
In each cover letter tell the manager you either get the job or her son will be dissolved in a barrel of acid #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael James Barton (@MichaelJames357) September 20, 2013
When closing a sales proposal, I like to quote Virgil Sollozzo: "Blood is a big expense." #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Jeff Angelo (@JeffAngeloRadio) September 20, 2013
#AllanBrauerProWritingTips When questioned on policy, ask that your political opponents loved ones die in terrible ways. #thenplayvictimcard
— Dax (@Dax1776) September 20, 2013
Don't wish for a specific ailment to kill your opponents' children, as you may upset an important constituency. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Sonny Bunch (@SonnyBunch) September 20, 2013
Writing speeches for Leftist friends? Stab a baby doll every few minutes to keep the proper perspective. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Drone Bait (@BigRMV) September 20, 2013
https://twitter.com/Matthops82/status/381104125384982528
DON'T use all caps, regardless of how many children you wish death upon. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Charly J. (@chuck_dizzle) September 20, 2013
For convenience sake, internal memos should include numbers for the coroner's office and a reputable funeral home #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) September 20, 2013
https://twitter.com/amish1979/status/381104766022975489
Add "Quadrupled sales in the first year with my patented threaten-the-lives-of-kids method" to your cover letter. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael James Barton (@MichaelJames357) September 20, 2013
Are your children disrespectful? Try my free program! I'll teach you how to shut the little bastards up for good! #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Intolerant Redneck (@TuckerJerbs) September 20, 2013
Never apologize. Double-down on any homicidal aberrant behavior to prove your commitment to your cause. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) September 20, 2013
@iowahawkblog One must sacrifice for the sake of art. Even better if you can sacrifice someone else's children. #AllanBrauerProWritingTips
— Michael Blum (@MichaelBlum3) September 20, 2013
We can only hope that Brauer decides to write a book.
