What do Jay Carney and the Obama administration know about rapidly emerging scandals? Ask Carney that question, and don’t expect to get a straight answer — unless the answer you’re looking for is “diddly squat.” 

It might be easier to take the opposite approach: What does Jay Carney know? Unlike the tight-lipped press secretary, Twitterers have got plenty of answers:

That’s the ticket!

He knows them personally!

Heh.

We’ll wait. But we’re pretty sure we know right now: