On the heels of his disastrous debate performance, President Obama held a rally this morning during which he attempted to clean up the tattered remnants of his dignity. You can view the whole sorry spectacle here.

An estimated 12,300 supporters showed up to listen to the pander-fest:


will.i.am warmed them up with a little Journey beforehand:

But it looks like many of them already have:

Obama, still picking out the splinters from his trip to the woodshed, had to carefully craft an excuse for his crappy debating skills. He ultimately went with blaming Mitt Romney, natch. You see, we didn’t see the “real” Romney last night; we saw Snidely Mitt!

Barack also stuck up for his buddy Big Bird:


Of course, no rally would be complete without a bit of bin Laden football spike-age:



He was apparently too caught up in the moment to mention that had bin Laden been taken alive, he would have had the terrorist tried in federal court. Gutsy call!

And, lest the wimmenz feel left out, he made sure to give a shout-out to all the #LadyParts:


Big Brother Obama also took a moment to plug his New Economic Patriotism:

At the chilling morning at Sloan’s Lake Park in Denver, Obama touted his plan for restoring the middle class.

“What I talked about last night was a new economic patriotism,” the president said, continuing his campaign’s theme that the rich should pay more taxes to help heal the nation’s out-of-whack spending.

Does that include exporting more jobs, Mr. President?

Obama shouldn’t be making slip-ups today. After all, he’s not facing the same kind of pressure he did last night:

Several observers noticed that Obama attempted to redeem himself by letting fly a couple of zingers that hadn’t occurred to him last night:

For many, his stab at staircase wit was reminiscent of a classic, and equally futile, “Seinfeld” moment:

We expect President Obama will have Air Force One re-routed to Virginia so he can zing Romney in person at his rally tonight.

Obama wrapped up with a plea for his audience to “keep on believin'” in him and a promise to finish what he started. Four more years, everybody!

Romney, rightly confident after his debate victory, didn’t seem to be fazed by Obama’s follow-up performance:

Damage? You bet. But we’re pretty sure Obama’s lost control.