For anyone out there unfamiliar with the tenants of Paul Ryan and Ayn Rand, noted scholar Cher is here to illuminate. Just don’t expect coherence:

Urban legend? Not exactly, Cher. Ryan makes no secret of his former admiration for the Objectivist writer, but he now rejects her philosophy. Cher, darling, if only you read Twitchy, you’d know! And then maybe you wouldn’t look so foolish! Wait, who are we kidding?

Actually, Cher, there is no evidence for Rand being a lesbian or bisexual.

“Go Paul”? What happened, Cher? Did you get to the end of your rant and forget that you hate him? Thinking is hard.

If Rand were alive today, we’re sure she’d be honored to have received the all-caps treatment. After all, she wasn’t even a Mormon! Neither is Ryan, for that matter. But that’s beside the point. The real lesson we’ve learned from Cher today is that some people should refrain from tweeting and stay tucked away in their special, special place.