By now, you’re no doubt aware that John Edwards is on trial for campaign finance corruption. Well, we’re not entirely sure the former trial lawyer knows what a trial actually entails because when he’s not watching football games, he’s flirting with jurors. Ah, Mr. Silky Pony. Ever the consummate professional.

Naturally, Twitterers saw fit to mock him for his randy-ness. Even Mother Jones (!) joined in on the action.

Here are the rest of the top ten #JohnEdwardsPickupLines, according to Twitchy, arbiter of all things top ten-y.

Oh, sa-NAP!