Attention, ladies: Were you aware of your status as second-class citizens? No? Well, never fear, some of your favorite democratic congresswomen are here to tell you how much your lives will suck until 2014.

Rep. Jackie Speier, D-Calif.:

“But with the passage of the Affordable Health Care Act, starting in 2014, no longer will women be second-class citizens,” she said. “We will attain the position of first-class citizens in this country because no longer can there be gender discrimination in the providing of health care.”

Rep. Louise Slaughter, D-N.Y.:

“This is the second anniversary of the Affordable Care Act — as longtime advocates for safer and more secure health care for American families, we are so pleased to see what it has done already, and as promised its benefits have already saved lives,”

Rep. Diana DeGette, D-Colo.:

“This Congress has put forth some of the worst attacks on women’s health care that any of us have seen in our lifetime,” said DeGette. “In fact, the level of these attacks on women’s health that we’ve seen make a lot of us wonder whether we’re in the Dark Ages or in fact whether we’re in the 21st century.”

Rep. Carolyn Maloney, D-N.Y.:

“And these coverages will not only help women manage their health and their lives better, they will help all American families.”

Naturally, the subject of the birth control coverage mandate was broached frequently.

Some of the congresswomen cited the Department of Health and Human Services mandate requiring all health insurance companies to provide coverage for sterilization, contraceptives,  and abortion-inducing drugs free of charge in their remarks about the importance of access to preventive services.

So, basically, American women have been oppressed so far by the evil patriarchy, the patriarchy that commands them to choose between barefoot pregnancy and paying for their own birth control. How fortunate are women today that they’ve got such pillars of womanhood who are looking out for their needs?

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ShePAC co-chair Teri Christoph isn’t having any of this business:

https://twitter.com/#!/TeriChristoph/status/182608985692717056

https://twitter.com/#!/TeriChristoph/status/182609787102568448

https://twitter.com/#!/TeriChristoph/status/182610127231254529

https://twitter.com/#!/TeriChristoph/status/182611304425598977

By the way, if you haven’t seen ShePAC’s fantastic “Million Dollar Man” video, definitely check it out!