First rule of journalism? When there’s no juicy story, just make one up, and hopefully it’ll stick.
OK, well, that’s the rule if you’re Politico’s Blake Hounshell, at least. Take a gander at this ridiculousness:
Bad timing for Carly. RT @jhseher: Hewlett-Packard says it will cut 25,000 to 30,000 jobs.
— Blake News (@blakehounshell) September 15, 2015
‘Scuse us?
Oh come on .. And how is this bad timing?https://t.co/ucgZHYnNv9 @blakehounshell @jhseher
— Max Q ⚡ (@Randy_Shannon) September 15, 2015
It isn’t. But doggone it, Blake’s gonna do his damnedest to make it bad.
Why? @blakehounshell https://t.co/UE411B5AFd
— S D Winkler (@sdwinkler) September 15, 2015
Because he says so, that’s why!
https://twitter.com/HokieMBA00/status/643892557081128961
Yep. Too bad he’s completely full of it.
https://twitter.com/LetsBanEvrythng/status/643896128371490816
@blakehounshell DO THEY PAY YOU TO WRITE THIS CRAP?
— CAROLINA BULLDOG ? (@Latheman1791) September 15, 2015
https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/643895100234330112
https://twitter.com/hboulware/status/643895960276348928
https://twitter.com/ErickMalmstrom/status/643897325463699456
Congrats! Dumbest tweet of the day, Jackass. @blakehounshell @jhseher https://t.co/N6qsUElUW3#CarlyFiorina
— Chelle (@FL_Chelle) September 15, 2015
It’s definitely right up there.
@blakehounshell How does that have anything to do with her?
— TFC3Tweets (@TFC3Tweets) September 15, 2015
So? What does this have to do with her? Stupid fuckwit https://t.co/9TRG8jyVF9
— LaurieAnn ??♂️? (@mooshakins) September 15, 2015
@blakehounshell why? You know she's not in charge anymore right?
— Swedish Chef (@Badash78) September 15, 2015
And she hasn’t been for a long, long time.
@blakehounshell She been running the company behind the scenes? Something only politico knows about? @jhseher
— Let's all calm down (@NikVanHelsing) September 15, 2015
@blakehounshell @jhseher #Liberallogic @CarlyFiorina hasn't worked with HP since 2005, but "Today's" announcement is somehow tied to her.
— DallenH ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ (@d_allen_h) September 15, 2015
@blakehounshell @jhseher This qualifies for dumbest Tweet of the day right here. She's been gone from HP for 10 years, you dolt.
— Allen (@wcu80) September 15, 2015
@baldingschemer @blakehounshell @BarackObama @jhseher Carly hasn't been with HP for over a decade. Blame Bush, but wait longer.
— Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) September 15, 2015
https://twitter.com/BecketAdams/status/643897111361253376
https://twitter.com/hboulware/status/643897096991453184
https://twitter.com/AnnKateri04/status/643897509908123648
Guess not.
https://twitter.com/Tark31/status/643896067445026816
Yep. Whatever it takes to knock her down, facts be damned!
https://twitter.com/Tark31/status/643892372544159744
Carly blamed for HP cutting 30k jobs *this year* but Obama has nothing to do w/ lowest workforce participation since 1978. @blakehounshell
— Razor (@hale_razor) September 15, 2015
https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/643896637216178177
https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/643901377945714688
https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/643901466911076353
Hopefully Fiorina can draw at least a little comfort from this kind of hacky garbage:
https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/643897068281548800
So there’s that!