In this crazy world we live in, it’s comforting to know that we can always count on our institutions of higher learning to be beacons of science and reason.

Take Stanford University, for instance. The prestigious college is no place for backward, anti-science nonsense.

That’s why Stanford students who want to play on the indoor basketball courts must remain properly masked at all times, except for the rare occasion when they might need to take a drink of water (which, let’s face it, isn’t really something that athletes ever need to do):

“Adapt your intensity as needed.”

In other words, don’t play basketball. Better yet, don’t play any indoor sport at all! Just because COVID19 tends to be more dangerous for people who are less fit doesn’t mean that students need to be able to exercise while also breathing and staying sufficiently hydrated.

Good call.

You can’t? Obviously you’re not trying hard enough.

It’s all about the Science™.

It’s also contagious, evidently. Here’s liberal arts college Oberlin, informing students that they must remain fully masked both indoors and outdoors:

Sounds like a very healthy environment for students.

Yes, but one is not zero. And only zero is acceptable. We literally cannot breathe easy until COVID19 and probably all contagious illnesses are completely eradicated.

It really is insane. And what’s even more insane is that things still haven’t gotten as insane as they’re going to get.