Portland’s sterling reputation has taken a bit of a tumble over the past few years, but the City of Roses would just like Americans to know that they’re just a little dirty, but they’re still good! They’re still good!

They’re so good, in fact, that they’re taking out ads in some of America’s most widely read publications.

Just see how awesome Portland is:


Portland had to take out ads to explain that the city doesn’t suck, they’re just being true to themselves!

There’s just something so sad about that. Maybe it’s the desperation with which they’re trying to convince the rest of us not to believe our lying eyes.

The entire Portland Police Department’s rapid response team resigned because Portland welcomes new ideas and encourages passion.

Well, that checks out!