Tara Reade’s sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden have forced a lot of supposed feminists to confront what it means to be a feminist and #MeToo advocate. And by “confront,” we mean, of course, “redefine.”

Celebrated feminist journalist and author Susan Faludi took to the New York Times’ opinion section to do just that:

The whole thing is decidedly ridiculous, but this excerpt seems pretty representative of Faludi’s fundamental unseriousness:

Feminism has, indeed, believed many things about “all women.” That all women are deserving of equal treatment under the law, equal pay in the workplace, reproductive health, freedom from domestic violence. And feminists have long held that “all women” should be believed when the “all” refers to all categories of women — i.e., equal regardless of race, religion or economic status. This is what Anita Hill meant when she said in a CNN town hall in 2017, “And until we can believe all women, every woman’s voice has value, none of us really will be seen as equal.” Read her comments in full, and it’s clear she wasn’t giving equal credence to every individual woman, but equal standing to women of “all races, all ages, all sizes, all backgrounds.”

Good luck finding any feminist who thinks we should believe everything all women say — even what they say about sexual assault. History offers ample evidence of the horrors that can ensue when a woman or a man is believed who shouldn’t be: Remember the Scottsboro Boys?

Since at least the late ’90s, gotcha conservativism’s specialty has been condemning feminists for failing to live up to their dogmatist label. First, caricature feminists as a bunch of groupthink totalitarians, then accuse them of hypocrisy every time they are not in lock step. But guess what? Feminism has never, for five minutes, been about lock step. If anything, we tend to be at each other’s throats more often than we’re marching in ranks. And that’s on subjects from comparable worth to women in combat to pornography to #MeToo, where feminists from Margaret Atwood to yours truly have argued for proportion and due process. The broad spectrum of opinion within feminism is one of its strengths, not a frailty. If feminists see distinctions between Anita Hill, Monica Lewinsky, Christine Blasey Ford and Tara Reade, I’d say they’re doing their jobs. That’s not hypocrisy, that’s integrity.

Oh, OK.

Suuuuuure it hasn’t.

There’s some serious gaslighting in progress.

“A” for effort.

Does all that spinning make you dizzy, Jill? Maybe you should lie down before you hurt yourself.

And memory-holing:

Welp.

Duly noted.