Never heard of Sam McRoberts before? You’ve been missing out. The Inc. and Entrepreneur writer is clearly someone whose message is worth spreading far and wide:
Study I would run if I had time:
1. Recruit 10,000 ppl unsure if they want kids
2. Ask them questions (Do you enjoy kids? Do you enjoy your life? Main pros/cons?)
3. Follow up 20 yrs later & ask: Did you have kids or not? Glad?
4. Look for predictors of satisfaction w/each choice— Julia Galef (@juliagalef) March 11, 2019
My wife and I originally wanted 3 kids. Had 1, decided after a few years that 1 was plenty.
Though I love my son, I now:
A. know myself well enough, and
B. know the challenges of parenting well enough to say that having a kid is probably my biggest life regret. Wife concurs.— Sam McRoberts (@Sams_Antics) March 11, 2019
“I love my son,” but his existence “is probably my biggest life regret.”
You know what guys, I’m gonna block people who insult @sams_antics for these tweets. You’re the reason we can’t have nice things! (ie, useful data that isn’t hopelessly corrupted by people saying only socially acceptable things)
— Julia Galef (@juliagalef) March 11, 2019
I’m not offended 🙂 Like I said, it’s such a taboo, and it triggers so much cognitive dissonance because people can’t even admit it to themselves (or they can and it makes them feel bad).
— Sam McRoberts (@Sams_Antics) March 11, 2019
Well, regardless of whether you personally are offended, it's still a signal to other people about what they are/aren't allowed to say.
(btw I suspect you're wrong about most parents secretly regretting having kids! My guess would be a minority do, though not a *tiny* minority)
— Julia Galef (@juliagalef) March 11, 2019
Maybe. There seems to be enough data on the negative impact of having kids on relationships, mental health, the human brain, etc. that I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a fair %. But again, how many people would ever admit it if true? Not many I’d guess.
— Sam McRoberts (@Sams_Antics) March 11, 2019
People have difficulty reconciling: "Knowing what I know now I'd skip kids" and "I love my kids and can't imagine life w/o them". They forget that skipping kids means you'd never get attached because they wouldn't exist. I agree with Sam.
— D.B. Coopertino (@CoopertinoD) March 11, 2019
I should clarify that I agree with Sam even though I have two kids that I love very much and would sacrifice everything for. They exist in this timeline and that is all that matters to me now. But with a clean slate and no guilt??? No kids must be an improvement in many ways.
— D.B. Coopertino (@CoopertinoD) March 11, 2019
Precisely this. I love my kid, and he knows he’s loved. I try to provide him with an amazing life and a world class education. I spend hours with him every day playing, going to parks, watching shows, playing video games.
But all things considered, childless would be simpler.
— Sam McRoberts (@Sams_Antics) March 11, 2019
No one ever said being a parent was easy. But publicly proclaiming that you regret the child you have is on a whole other level of messed up.
who talks like this?
— The Dullard (@KaizenDefense) March 11, 2019
Who? Horrible people. That’s who.
This makes me want to throw up.
— Ser Macallan XVIII (@nottaitz) March 11, 2019
So here's the thing: if you can post this publicly and give your son a likelihood of hearing that you regret his existence (rather than talking about it to trusted friends you can be certain won't ever let it slip) then you don't actually love your son.
— Akiva Cohen (@AkivaMCohen) March 11, 2019
How sad and utterly selfish. Loving and raising your child is more important than career achievement, accolades, or extra free time/$. You’ve placed those things above your own flesh and blood. Time to rethink your priorities. https://t.co/nMHyADx7QL
— Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) March 11, 2019
Thinking this is pathetic. But we all think pathetic things. You have to identify when you are being pathetic and adjust.
Tweeting this is next level pathetic. So sad for the son of this selfish excuse of a man. https://t.co/DyHDugZN0e
— Matt’s Idea Shop (@MattsIdeaShop) March 11, 2019
This is really twisted. Even if you honestly feel this way, you’re a verified public figure and you shouldn’t broadcast this on the internet where it will forever be and your son can see it in the future. It’s incredibly irresponsible and selfish. Be better.
— Jon ? (@Jondoespolitics) March 11, 2019
You feel how you feel, I don’t care. But did you ever consider the likelihood your son will see this or be told about it one day? Pretty short sighted, sir.
— Bill Haggis can’t code for shit (@BillHaggis) March 11, 2019
Prayers for your son who will one day see this.
— Glen Dronach (@glen_dronach) March 11, 2019
I hope your son never sees this.
— PhilThatRemains (@philthatremains) March 11, 2019
Parents who feel this way… please don't tweet things like this where your kids can some day see it. It's pretty gross. https://t.co/BIYoEXIEdh
— ❤️ Jayvie ❤️ (@OneFineJay) March 11, 2019
This post will probably take the top spot on your biggest life regrets at some point.
— dave carr (@rracevad) March 11, 2019
One can only hope.
* * *
Update:
Sam’s really glad he publically posted that having his son is his and his wife’s biggest regret because he’s found all sorts of new people to mute:
You know, tweeting something controversial is a GREAT way to find more people to mute 🙂 Kind of like a game of whack-a-mole though, there’s a seemingly endless supply and they seem to respawn, lol.
— Sam McRoberts (@Sams_Antics) March 11, 2019
Hope your kid mutes you
— Drew (@Mobius22_) March 11, 2019
????
— Brendan McNichol (@JBrendanMcNicho) March 12, 2019
