Merry Christmas, everybody!

Twelve Democratic presidential primary debates? Twelve? Starting next June???

On the one hand, that’s 12 opportunities to watch the 50 million Democrats running for president humiliate themselves — and each other — on the national stage.

On the other hand, doesn’t this constitute cruel and unusual punishment or something?

Help us, SMOD. You’re our only hope.

Don’t give theme any ideas. Except maybe this one:

Editor’s note: This post has been updated with an additional tweet.

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Update:

Oh dear God:

Dammit, SMOD! What the hell is taking you so long?