We thought about writing this piece entirely in Russian but ugh, that would take all damn day and really, who has time for that? Although it would be hilarious to watch Ron Perlman spin his wheels and insist that proves Putin is footin’ the bill for us while we make fun of him but yeah … no.
But we WERE able to write part of our headline in Russian, that first little bit actually means, ‘Stupid head!’
Hey, we can be educational here on Twitchy too.
While America was being represented and protected by this American, the creep that replaced him was throwing around accusations about Kenya ‘n shit like the racist punk he is. How in the fuck did we turn this world upside down, and how do we sit here and take it! pic.twitter.com/ILaMuSP7Zf
— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) February 20, 2018
Protected by Obama? OMG. Tell that to Ukraine.
Hey, would someone send this YouTube video to Ron? He’ll think it’s Russian propaganda if we send it … HA HA HA
In case you can’t stand to listen to Obama’s voice (been there), this is the important part of what he said.
“This is my last election … After my election I have more flexibility,” Obama said, expressing confidence that he would win a second term.
“I will transmit this information to Vladimir,” said Medvedev, Putin’s protégé and long considered number two in Moscow’s power structure. https://t.co/ax4LlLCo9V
— Sam 'The?FOO' Janney (@PolitiBunny) February 20, 2018
But sure, tell us more about how Obama was protecting us from Putin.
He did have more flexibility after his Re-election.
— Tipping Odds Podcast (@TippingOddsLV) February 20, 2018
Protecting us with a bunch of flexibility apparently.
You’re still stinging from this? It’s been 14 months. Aren’t you supposed to be a tough guy?
— Immaterial Mike (@michaelbayer1) February 20, 2018
Started going upside down when you started thinking anyone cares what your politics are. Now go dance for our entertainment, monkey.
— Chumly Pieplate (@Chumly_Pieplate) February 20, 2018
And yet he accuses us of being big ol’ mean Russians.
Editor’s note: We tried to figure out a way to change our bylines to sound more Russian-y, but sadly Samisov Jannev didn’t sound as rad as Sam J.