We got nothin’. Check out this report.

Dude was too drunk to start the car but he managed to catch a raccoon.

And he squeezed the raccoon so hard it lost consciousness so he dumped it in the floor board.

Then it came to and attacked him causing him to drive his car into a swimming pool.

This can’t be real.

No, it’s not, but it’s damn funny.

Sadly every Tom, Dick and Harry had to scold Dave here by saying it’s not real – when did we lose our sense of humor? Oh yeah, 2008.

Some people even showed up to say it was cruelty to animals which is indicative of animal rights people who also have zero sense of humor.

All we have to say is, lighten up, Francis.