Someone needs to take Weiner’s phone from him. Like YESTERDAY.

Move over Carlos Danger, make way for Randy Mongoose … you can’t make this stuff up.

A weasel suits him.

Apparently Weiner was ‘catfished’ by a former Republican who called herself “Nikki”; she texted with him about strappy black heels and porn scenes.

Seriously.

Dude even made jokes about his staff.

*wink wink nudge nudge*

That picture, he actually does look a little bit like a mongoose.

Heh.

Consensus is that maybe Weiner, who has a history of sext issues, is just not all that great at flirting.

Or he’s just a giant dirtbag.

Both?

Yes, stop it, Carlos. Or should we call you Mongoose?

Umm duh, dude is a mongoose.

Because Mr. Weiner, while this is amusing and sorta pathetic, people just don’t care all that much.

Mongoose.