Bwahahaha. Ahahaha. Heehahaha. The know-it-alls at Vox.com have done it again. Last night, an expert explainer Voxsplained that it would be the “longest night in the history of Earth.”

Except, well, it wasn’t.

Vintage Voxpert-ise, friends. Savor it.

Vox’s old pretentious mission: “Explain the news.”

The media is excellent at reporting the news and pretty good at adding commentary atop the news. What’s lacking is an organization genuinely dedicated to explaining the news. That is to say, our end goal isn’t telling you what just happened, or how we feel about what just happened, it’s making sure you understand what just happened.

We’re going to deliver a lot of contextual information that traditional news stories aren’t designed to carry, and we’re hiring journalists who really know the topics they cover. There’s no way we’ll be able to help readers understand issues if we haven’t done the work to understand them ourselves.

Vox’s new mission:

Explain away its errors. Again and again and again.

Let the mockery continue.

Gigglesnort overload.

It may not have technically been the longest night on the history of the planet. But we’re pretty sure it’s starting to feel that way over at the headquarters of the Voxplainers of the Universe. Better luck next year, Voxperts!

Previous #VoxCorrections and Vox coverage.