For thousands of years, we’ve wondered why certain things just haven’t worked. We’ve pondered things large and small, from the lack of world peace to why the Internet always seems to drop out when you need it most. If we had only known it was as simple as asking Roseanne Barr for the answer, we surely would have done it much sooner.

Anti-Semitism is at the core of all our problems. Has your washing machine been on the fritz today? Blame anti-Semitism. Did your fancy HDTV just freeze during the last play of the big game? Well, blame anti-Semitism.

This is clearly the reason nothing has ever worked.

You can’t fault Barr for trying to speak out on a belief, but could she be more vague?

There was an intended target of all these remarks, and Barr made it pretty clear who it was as she continued.

But after her decided moment of clarity while expressing her point, she went a little overboard.

Try saying that one five times fast.

Have you forgotten about the great Papist Law? The Pope owns your soul, he owns all our souls! There’s no escaping the Papist Law. And to think, all this time you’ve been under the impression you’ve had your own identity.

There weren’t many others besides Barr willing to hand over their soul so easily.

If you thought Barr was just searching for an intellectual discussion with people across Twitter sharing their own opinions … you thought wrong.

Hear that? Don’t bother trying to express your own opinion; to Roseanne Barr, you just don’t have one.

At least we know, if it’s all true, and our souls are owned and we no longer have opinions worth expressing, we have the source of the problem.

Whatever happens now, let’s just blame anti-Semitism.