So, as we told you late last night and this morning, Tucker Carlson kicked arse so much in his interview with Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald that Eichenwald took to Twitter to melt down. Bigly. The tweets were chock-a-block with nuttiness. Eichenwald then bravely ran away, natch, and deleted the tweets. But wait! He then returned for more, and then claimed that he suffered a seizure from a GIF sent to him in reply on Twitter. Oh boy.

But back to Kurt Eichenwald’s claims. One was that he evidently has a secret binder full of secrets. Kind of like a binder full of women. But, you know, crazy.

He writes stuff down in it, guys! Very Big Scoops.

Wiping tears. One of his “scoops”? Accusing President-elect Trump of “amphetamine-derivatives” use. In the 80s.

But, but …. journalism and stuff! Stolen records are hunky-dory unless said records belong to a Democrat.

Good questions. Oh, please let him pull out his binder pages. Because, I suspect this is true:

Aching. Sides. Eichenwald’s amphetamine “scoop” totally backfired. Why? A big old dud.

Oops. Or, it could be this:

Or this?

Bingo. A huge nothing, even if true. And that is a big if.

Consensus on the “scoop”? Who cares? No one would. However, they would, and are, caring about this:

Way to go, Eichenwald. Pretty jackassy stuff right there.

Related: Kurt Eichenwald frantically deletes post-Tucker Carlson interview meltdown tweets; We’ve got them!; UPDATE: He’s still going (crazy); UPDATE: Claims seizure