Oh no. What fresh hell is this, courtesy of the “Today” show?

This happened. Warning: Not safe for your breakfast.

OMG no one is. NO ONE. No. Just … no. Why do you hate everyone in the entire world ever?

That didn’t stop Matt Lauer, Al Roker and the “Today” show Twitter account from attempting to help people diet by regurgitating their pancakes and eggs this morning.

Tasteful. Jumping the ass shark, yet tastefully guys!

Please stop. We so do not want to know.

What in the hell is wrong with you?

That’s what she said?

That’s also what she said?

No. No, it’s not. It’s nightmarish.

You have traumatized a nation.

What has been heard, can never be unheard. Oh, the humanity.

And for the win.

Journalism. Now with more hurling.

Update: See what you did, “Today” show?

Shudder.