This is just plain old pitiful. And, you know, hilarious. Squee! Ladies, how will you stand it? Lunch with dreamboat Axelrod!

Oh, dear. We couldn’t even type dreamboat with a straight face.

The idea of lunch with David Axelrod is totally creepy. On the plus side, we smell a hashtag alert!

Also, perhaps people can let President Obama know that they aren’t doing just fine and that they think it’s more important to be able to put gas in their cars rather than an Obama sticker on their car.

Boy, the President sure is busy being pathetic and out of touch again today!