We’re not sure if the CDC director is advising on quarantine protocols or writing his Match.com profile. Maybe long walks on the beach are a good “quarantine” activity as well.

It may just be time for the President to appoint a “mixed signals” czar to make absolutely sure that nobody is clear on what the hell is going on.

SPAIN EBOLA

That’s just a dude going for a jog in the park with some buddies. Totally not contagious.

You need to realize that Science™ has pinpointed the exact moment when Ebola becomes contagious in any given patient’s body, and that moment never occurs while jogging in the park.  So up until that moment, you’re cool to spread bodily fluids around like confetti on New Year’s Eve.

The most important thing is to have fun with your Ebola quarantine. Go get that tattoo you’ve been thinking about or treat yourself to a high colonic.

We’re pretty sure he would advise that making sandwiches for Subway is a perfect way to make some extra spending money during your Ebola quarantine.

Come on. Dr. Nancy Snyderman is a TV doctor and knows the Science™ about how to buy take out soup without being contagious.

It’s all good. Nothing to worry about. The CDC has got this.

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Related

‘LOL’: Comedian Michael McDonald rips ‘TV doctor’ for breaking Ebola quarantine

Obama, CDC won’t like S.E. Cupp’s truth-snark question about Ebola-exposed docs, so let’s ask it!

Twitter unloads on quarantine-breaking Dr. Nancy Snyderman for ‘lame’ apology